A Teacher's Hurt Love
by MsWhiteChristmas
Summary: Carlisle is Bella's new English writing teacher and they make an instantaneous connection. But will Bella's past get in the way? Rated M for a reason people! CxB contains abuse, rape, and cussing! DON'T LIKE, DON'T READ!
1. The New Teacher

**A.N. Hi! Thank you so much for clicking on my story! It means a lot me! Just be warned, it's rated M for a reason! Now, I won't bore you with a long author's note so let's get on with the story!**

**If thy owns nothing, thou can't sue!**

**CPOV**

"Hello class, I'm Mr. Carlisle Cullen. As most of you know, Ms. Stuart moved so I will be taking her place for the rest of the year." I repeated my speech as I stood before one of my smaller English writing classes, which was right before lunch, in the University of New York. Nearly everyone was listening tentatively as I began that day's lesson, we were looking into fiction writing for the first time this year.

I was able to easily pick out the students who were willing to learn and wanted to go somewhere in life, and the ones that were here for who knows what reason. There was this one kid, Edward Masen I think was his name, he really got on my last nerve. Questioning _everything_ I did like he was the teacher. It took every ounce of my self-control to keep myself rooted to the floor as he talked back and disrupted the class.

Then, there was Isabella Swan, who had politely asked me to call her Bella, she had her own category. She was beautiful, sweet, so smart, knew the answer to every question, hard working, her writing is the most beautiful thing I've ever had the pleasure of reading, and far too many more endearing qualities to even name. She was also a very strong person, not in the sense of weight-lifting but just on the inside. I remember her telling Edward to 'Fuck off' then blushing and saying she was sorry. I didn't mind it one bit, because Edward shut right up.

Then, all to soon, the lunch bell rang and everyone filed out quickly, except Bella. She hesitated by the door like she didn't really want to leave.

"Is there something you wanted Bella?" I asked, looking up from my papers and she turned around to face me. Her luscious, long brown hair flowed behind her with her every movement, her chocolate brown eyes filled with warmth... and I can't believe I was thinking this way about a student!

She walked slowly and hesitantly down the steps to my desk. "Well, no, not really." she admitted with a blush as she stopped right in front of my desk. "I was just going to say sorry again for using that kind of language in class." she added with another blush.

"It's perfectly fine..." I trailed off as she unconsciously moved a stray piece of her hair behind her ear. Her hand was bandaged and looked to be swollen, or perhaps it was just the amount of wrapping. I caught her hand gently as she moved it back down to her side. "What happened?"

**BPOV**

I can't believe all of those girls, batting their eyelashes and unbuttoning their shirts slightly at the new teacher. It was just disgusting. Yes, he was very nice looking but this was just a bit over the top. He didn't seem to notice it though, he was focusing on me, I do hope he didn't see the bruises that I had tried so hard to cover. But then Edward started being his usual douche-self and I got really irritated, even though I knew I would pay for it later.

"Fuck off," I said out loud and immediately blushed and said I'm sorry to Mr. Cullen. He didn't seem to mind but Edward gave one of those glares that reminded me of the saying 'If looks could kill', I get them a lot, from Edward and my father, Charlie.

Charlie has been abusing me ever since my mother left us six years ago. I'm eighteen now, and in college, I skipped several grades and graduated high school at seventeen. You'd like to think I could get away from it all, but it doesn't work like that. Every time I try and escape, he finds me.

Last night, he had crushed nearly every bone in my left hand because I didn't get off the ground fast enough after he threw me down and kicked my ribs till he broke one.

All too soon, the bell rang and I was broken from my reverie. Everyone quickly filed out and Edward stopped by my desk for one short second.

"What the hell was that? Meet me after class you little bitch." Edward whispered with one painful boob grab and I whimpered. He chuckled and walked away.

I looked up and Mr. Cullen was bent over his papers, so he didn't see. I got my things together and stood slowly. I unwillingly headed for the door and paused, not wanting to see Edward.

"Is there something you wanted Bella?" Mr. Cullen asked, it surprised me how much I enjoyed hearing my name flow from his beautiful lips, and I seized the chance to not have to face Edward. I turned around and walked slowly back to his desk. I wasn't really comfortable being around... _men_ after all I have gone through with Edward and Charlie. But I didn't want to be with Edward so I had to hope he would have the decency not to hurt me. I stopped at his desk and looked down at my hands, what was going to be my excuse for staying?

"Well, no, not really." I said nervously and blushed a light pink. "I was just going to say sorry again for using that kind of language in class." I added quickly and blushed a darker pink, thinking of the real reason... to avoid my abusive ex-boyfriend.

"It's perfectly fine..." he trailed off as I nervously moved a stray piece of hair to behind my ear. He caught my hand before I let it hang back down at my side. "What happened?" he gasped as he examined my bandaged hand.

I panicked, what the hell am I going to say? "I, uh, I tripped at home and broke my hand?" I stuttered out my poor excuse, it sort of sounded like a question. Great job Bella. "I, um, have to go." I blurted, looking around nervously. "See you tomorrow Mr. Cullen!" I shouted over my shoulder as I ran from the room.

"Bella!" he called behind me but I was already out the door.

Strong arms encircled around me and I yelped in surprise as I was pushed against the wall.

"You should be telling _me _that you're sorry." Edward whispered darkly as he pressed his lips roughly to mine and began he knead my breasts.

I struggled beneath him, knowing it was useless but I couldn't allow him to think I was just giving in. To my great relief, Mr. Cullen stepped out of his room just as Edward's hand roamed to my pants.

**CPOV**

"Bella!" I shouted but it was no use, she was already out of the door. For a second I just stared at the door but then, acting on a whim, I strode quickly up the stairs and to the door. I was nearly at the door when I heard struggling and I picked up the pace.

"Bella..." I trailed off as I saw that stupid Masen kid on top of Bella. She was struggling and looked to be on the verge of tears. "Mr. Masen, I suggest you move along." I snapped, completely outraged he would actually _do _that to such a sweet girl like Bella.

He broke off as soon as I spoke and fled the other direction, leaving Bella gasping for breath. She slid to the floor and tears overflowed her eyes.

I bent down beside her, still completely in shock and outrage. I wrapped my arm around her shoulders and she allowed me to pull her shaking body towards me.

"It's OK, I'm here." I cooed soothingly as I gently rubbed soothing circles on her back. Her tears subsided a bit as we just sat there. She made no attempt of moving away and neither did I as the seconds passed on.

"Thank you," she sniffled, still not completely over the tears.

I nearly laughed, she was saying thank you for my being a decent human being. That made me wonder as to what she had gone through, and that stopped the chuckled, choking in my throat.

"Are you alright?" I questioned softly, not wanting to scare her. She shrugged as she looked down at her feet. "Does he do that a lot?" She looked up at my face and I got lost in those beautiful doe eyes as they seemed to get lost in mine. Her eyes glanced down at my lips and I suddenly felt a strain in my pants. She licked her lips as she tore her eyes from my lips to look at my face. She was so close, if just leaned forward... our lips would meet...

**(A.N.) CLIFFHANGER! :) Don't hate me! But, if you're reading this now, thank you so much for giving my story a chance! Now, if you liked it, press that little green button that says 'Review this story/chapter' and review, alert, or favorite!!! I WILL LOVE YOU FOR IT! If you like the Bella/Carlisle couple then check out my other story: In It For Life. Or, if you just like my writing in general, check out my story I Deserve It (it's Bella/Edward). Thanks again!!!**

**Love,**

**Ms. White Christmas**


	2. I Need Someone

**A.N. HI PEOPLE! Thanks to everyone that review, alerted and favorited this story! Your all wonderfully awesome!!! :) So, here's the next chapter! :D**

**If thy doesn't own, thou can't sue.**

**BPOV**

In some part of my mind, I might have really wanted to kiss him, but now my self-protection instincts are kicking in. I'm not ready to be hurt again.

I break my gaze from his and stare down at my lap. "Thank you f-for helping me," I whisper as I fidget with the hem of my shirt.

He cleared his throat before speaking. "You never answered my question." he stated simply.

_That's because I can't or you'll get hurt_, I want to say but I can't, it would give too much away. "N-no," I answered in my most convincing voice. Damn, Edward. He knows I can't lie, he should have been more careful.

"I don't believe you." he sighs.

"Please," is all I can mutter. I don't want anyone else getting hurt because of me, especially not Carlisle.

He raises an eyebrow. "Please what?"

"Believe me." I plead.

He seems distraught over something, but I don't wait to find out. I stand up and he lets his arms fall from around me. I didn't know what to do but I find myself running and stumbling towards the nearest exit. I push my way through the doors, ignoring the protest in my hand, and hopped into my truck. It roared to life, startling me for a moment. I hurriedly put it into drive and left the school, heading for the only place I could think of, the hell hole I call my home.

I pulled onto my street only to be struck by panic. Charlie's home. The man never worked but he usually occupied his time at bars and at strip clubs. He forces me to get two jobs and I never see a penny of my paychecks unless he needs food.

I slow down but I still get there, I still have to face him. I park my truck and see the curtains move slightly. He must have heard me come up, fabulous. I grab my bag and walk slowly up to the house, I check the knob to find it unlocked so I walk right in. It's pitch black, nothing can be seen.

"Hello, Isabella. I'm so glad you're home." he chuckles from somewhere in the darkness.

My body tenses as I look around warily. I sniff the air and the pungent smell of alcohol has me choking. The light flicks on and he's right there, two bottles of bear in his hand and the other behind his back, sauntering towards me.

He sets the bottles of bear down and quickly has my hands cuffed behind my back. I struggle but he's so damn strong! He punches me in the gut and I fall to the ground, breathless.

"Now, don't be difficult, Isabella." he laughs as he pulls me up by my hair.

A few tears escape my eyes as he drags me to where he left the bears. He slams me down on the ground and I whimper. He crouches over me, putting one leg firmly on each side of my thighs so I can't move easily. He grabs one bottle and pops off the top, while I wonder where he's going with this, this isn't normal.

"Now, have you ever had a drink?" he asks with an eyebrow raised.

I shake my head and I know exactly where this is going. I try struggling but it's no use. "No, Charlie! I don't want to become a bastard like you!" I yell in panic.

He simply laughs at my panic before tipping the drink into my mouth just as I was inhaling to scream. I choke on the liquid, not prepared for it and because of it's horrible taste. He brings it from my mouth and I eventually get it down. I can already feel the horrid liquid in my system, something I never wanted to feel.

"Don't you like it?" he whispers, tipping it back into my mouth. Ugh! That taste!

This continues on until I've finished both the bottles, and five more. I already feel hungover, but it's not as bad as I thought it to be. I actually feel relief, no pain, for once in my life.

"Good girl," he chuckles as he begins to remove my pants. I can't process what he's doing, for my mind is blurred over with the hangover.

***

I wake at about six in the morning, Charlie's gone and I have a massive headache. I get up anyways and head upstairs, taking the steps carefully for I feel dizzy, my visions blurry.

I remember thinking last night that the hangover relieved my pain, I can't believe I actually thought that. I will never become an alcohol addict like Charlie.

I get in the bathroom and look in the mirror to see I'm naked. Oh my god! He raped me! I begin to sob as the realization hit me full force, it's not like Edward hasn't raped me, but I didn't think _Charlie _ever would. I feel so dirty now. I can still feel him on me. I hurry up and turn on the shower all the way hot and get in. I scrub every inch of my body till it's raw, like I always do when Edward rapes me.

I'm still sobbing and scrubbing when the water turns cold. I shut it off and re wrap my hand. I go to my room to get my usual band tee, sweatshirt and jeans. I grab my stuff and leave, wanting to get out of this house full of bad memories.

I'm trembling the whole way to school, I can hardly see the road due to that stupid alcohol! Luckily, I get to school, no harm done. When I get out of my truck, I stumble and feel strong arms encircle around me. I yelp and quickly look up to see it's... Carlisle?

His nose is scrunched up like he smells something really bad, still as beautiful as ever. "Have you been drinking, Bella?" he asked, shock written across his face.

Thanks a lot Charlie. I didn't want this, I didn't want people looking down upon me because I drank. I could the tears streaming down my face. "He forced me too," I blurted out unthinkingly.

"Who?" he asked incredulously.

Suddenly, my stomach was clenching uncomfortably around the empty space inside it. This overwhelming queasy feeling overcame me and I felt the bile rising in my throat. I clutched my stomach.

"I think I'm going to be sick." I gasped before running into the large college building and in the nearest bathroom. I bend over the toilet and someone's hands hold back my hair as I empty whatever little water and alcohol was in my stomach.

I feel so weak after that, nothing's in my stomach and I feel dizzy from lack of food and water. I collapse into the waiting arms of Carlisle. He lifts me up in his arms easily and walks out of the school and to his black Mercedes. I'm too weak to care about what he does with me so I don't fight as he lays me down on the back seat.

Just as the car purrs to life, my consciousness slips away.

***

"Bella? Can you open your eyes? Please, you need to eat something." I could hear Carlisle's worried voice but it seemed so far away. I didn't want to come out of this peaceful darkness, where there is no pain, no worries. "Please, Bella. For me." When he said 'For me,' I realized I wanted to do it, for him. Odd, wonder why that is.

Slowly, my eyes fluttered open and I saw Carlisle's beautiful face relax. "Bella," he sighed in relief.

"H-hi," I croaked out and I immediately felt the emptiness of my stomach, like it was echoing inside me. "Ow," I muttered.

"What is it?" he asked worriedly.

"I'm just... kind of hungry." I admitted, though it was an understatement.

He chuckled lightly. "I thought you might be so I made some soup... I do hope it tastes alright, I never was much of a chef." he admitted, shamefaced. As he reached behind him.

I immediately got nervous. Charlie never let's me eat and I really couldn't hold anything down when he beats me. "O-on second thought, I'm not very hungry. I think I should get to school." I mumbled hurriedly but when I attempted sitting up I fell right back down. Man am I dizzy.

He looked back at me pleadingly. "Please, I saw that you only had water in your system and you'll die if you don't eat something." He appeared to have a hard time saying that I'd die.

I eyed the soup he had in his hand, it smelled delicious. Maybe just a few sips, to make him happy. "Alright," I agreed reluctantly and Carlisle helped sit me up. He sat down so he could hold me up while I ate. It felt amazing in my empty stomach.

He smoothed back my hair as I ate, seemingly deep in thought. "Tell me something, Bella," he inquired suddenly and I was caught off guard.

I swallowed my mouthful of soup and turned my head slightly so I could look at him. "It depends on what you want to know." I replied cautiously.

He chuckled but then his face got really serious. "You... well, you know anorexia can kill you... and I don't want to see that happen. But you don't seem like the kind of girl who would do that to herself on her own freewill." Carlisle mused and I knew what he wanted to know, who was doing this to me.

"No, I don't do it on my freewill." I admit, taking another sip. "And if I tell you who does this to me, you have to promise not to tell a soul." I say, serious like a heart attack. I don't know what came over me, I suddenly wanted to tell him, wanted him to comfort me.

He looks uncertain but eventually says, "I swear,"

**(A.N.) Ugh, I'm not liking how this story is going!!! :( Please tell me if you think I should continue because I didn't want her to tell him _this _soon but that's just the only place it wanted to go... and I don't like that! Maybe I'll just go with it and continue on with telling of how their love gets stronger as Carlisle helps Bella escape... but I really don't know... please tell me what I should do! I'm so confused!!!**

**Love,**

**Ms. White Christmas**


	3. Lies

**A.N. Thank you so much to everyone that reviewed! You all are amazing and all deserve cookies!!! *hands out cookies* I would also like to thank the people that convinced me to continue writing, thank you to everyone that supported me in my writing.**

**Special thanks to duchess0amy for the ideas!**

**If thy doesn't own, thou can't sue.**

_He looks uncertain but eventually says, "I swear,"_

**CPOV**

After she asked me to swear not to tell I had been expecting something big, like that Masen kid was starving her or something. Not what she said next.

"You know how I was hungover... m-my _father _found out and he got mad, so he didn't let me eat yesterday." she mumbled, quickly and nervously.

I could tell from her eyes she was lying. But there was some truth in it... what could it be though? I was about to say something when a small tinkling like a cell phone came from Bella's jean pocket.

Her hands fluttered to it and she hesitantly pulled it out, glanced at the caller idea for only a second before flipping it open.

"Hello?" she asked cautiously. Someone spoke on the other end but all I could make out was a small buzzing, like whomever it was was yelling. She flinched like something the person had said hurt her physically.

"N-no I'm coming right now," she mumbled, looking on the verge of tears. "No! I promise, I was just feeling sick." she whimpered before flipping the phone shut. She stood from her place on the couch and went to place the soup on the table but she clutched her abdomen and a small cry of pain escaped her lips.

I stood immediately and she fell into my arms, gasping like she couldn't breath. I picked her up and ran out the door to my car. I gently laid her down in the backseat and got in, racing to the nearest hospital. I glanced worriedly back at her as I heard coughing and an awful gurgling sound.

_Blood, oh god she's coughing up blood,_ I panicked and hit the gas harder, blowing a few stop signs before finally, with great relief, reaching the hospital.

I picked her up and, as gently as possible, busted into the hospital. "Help! She can't breath!" I called out and a doctor with a couple of nurses ran right over to me with a hospital bed and rushed her back.

***

After the longest wait of my life, my feet sore from pacing, a doctor calls out, "Swan family," and I rush over.

He eyes me for a moment. "And how are you related to Miss Swan?"

"Her boyfriend," I blurted out unthinkingly, I just wanted to see her, to make sure she was ok. Though it did thrill me more than it should have.

"Alright," he agreed cautiously. "She seems to have suffered some kind of brutal attack by the looks of all the bruises. She has one broken rib and it lightly punctured her right lung but after the successful surgery she should recover perfectly well."

Brutally attacked? Who would do that to someone as sweet as her? Is this what she's trying to keep from me?

"Do you know who could have done this?" he asked with a hint of accusation in his voice. What, does he think _I _did it? Probably... but I would also go straight to the boyfriend if I were him too, with all of those girls you hear about in abusive... relationships...

I shook my head numbly as my mind worked furiously to put together the sudden feeling I got that I was close to figuring out something.

He nodded his head in response. "You may see her if you like." he offered hesitantly and I nodded my head.

He led me back to the emergency care unit of the hospital where Bella was laying weakly on the hospital bed. Her eyes wearily moved in my direction as I entered the room behind the doctor. She gave me a small smile and I rushed over to her.

My eyes pricked with tears as I saw how weak she looked, helpless. "How are you feeling?" I asked, unable to think of anything else to say.

She thought for a moment. "Happy I think..." she croaked uncertainly. She appraised my face for a moment before sighing and rolling her eyes in a really cute way. "Don't look at me like I just grew another head and let me continue."

I laughed gently as I composed my face. "Ok then, why are you happy?" I asked quietly as I stroked her face, moving her hair to the side.

Her eyes softened. "I probably wouldn't be alive right now... if it weren't for you." she murmured quietly and a single tear fell from her eye.

I wiped it away and sat in the chair beside her bed. "Nonsense, someone would have taken you here... your father would have." I murmured reassuringly. She stiffened a little bit when I talked about her dad. "Is something wrong?" I asked, confused.

She seemed to force herself to relax and gave me a fake smile. "I'm fine," she mumbled weakly. I could tell she was lying.

"Don't lie, please." I begged, I really wanted to get her to open up. I want to help her and I can't if she won't open up to me.

She opened her mouth like she was about to say something but someone caught her attention behind me. I turned around to see a man who seemed to have fake concern on his face.

"Hello, Isabella," the man said formally.

She glared at him. "What are you doing here, Charlie?" she spit out with so much hatred I was shocked.

His eyes widened in fake innocence. "I'm your only guardian, of course they would be calling me."

Guardian? So he'd have to be her father. Then why does she seem to hate him. I think this has been the most confusing day of my life... and there's that feeling like I was closer to the truth. I couldn't possibly trust that feeling though... could I?

"Who's this?" her father spit at me. I didn't really know if I should say I'm her teacher or what, so I turned to Bella.

"He's my English writing teacher and the one that saved my life thanks to you." she spoke bitterly, still glaring at her father.

My mind immediately went to the reasonable explanation for her obvious hatred. The punishment. I have never heard of that kind of sick punishment in all of my life. That's also another reason why I don't believe it.

"Ah, yes. The 'attack'." Charlie laughed at this and I just kept getting more confused. Shouldn't he be worried? I seem to be more worried over her.

"Yes, a very brutal one the doctors have told me. It's quite sickening that some bastard would do that." I spoke up, my voice layered with disgust.

He looked at me, shocked like he just remembered my presence. He then smirked and raised an eyebrow.

That only fueled my tirade. "She has a broken rib that punctured her lung and if I hadn't been there when she threw up from being drunk she could quite possibly be dead right now. From the way you're acting I'd say you are the one that did this to her." I raised an eyebrow at him as I finally voiced my epiphany that I hadn't consciously realized I had come to.

His mouth dropped open.

**(A.N.) Ok, I did whatever I could do with that last chapter! I hope you like it but I'm kind of scared with how this is going... I don't know, I think I'm just a worried writer, ha ha. Thank you to everyone that reviewed! You're all amazing!**

**VIRTUAL COOKIES TO EVERYONE THAT REVIEWS!!!**

**Love,**

**Ms. White Christmas**


	4. Searching And Boxers

**A.N. Thank you to everyone that is still liking my story even when I have doubt in my writing abilities! You're all amazing and deserve every one of those virtual cookies! *hands out cookies***

**Hope you like this new chapter! (It's all human by the way!)**

**If thy doesn't own, thou can't sue.**

_His mouth dropped open._

**BPOV**

What... the... hell?! How the fuck does he know? I am so dead. Of course Charlie's lack of acting skills didn't help in the least. He could have been the normal caring father upset over the brutal attack his daughter went through.

Charlie finally composed himself and he looked Carlisle square in the eye. To someone less observant he might have looked strong and menacing, but I could see the fear deep in his eyes.

At that moment, I knew they would be getting into a big argument. So I very inconspicuously hit the button that called in the nurse.

"I have _no_ idea of what you're talking about. I wouldn't do that to my _daughter_." he growled innocently.

There was no hope of getting him to tell the truth and he'd kill me before I get the chance. God, I should have told Carlisle when I did get the chance to. He could help me but he needs to know for sure and he isn't going to get a truthful answer from Charlie, that's for dang sure. And, I hate to admit it, but I'm too scared of Charlie to tell.

Carlisle completely ignored Charlie's attempts of bravery. "Bella is college age and doesn't have to deal with your crap anymore. She could so very easily leave your ass and I would help her." Carlisle threatened, telling Charlie he was going to expose him without telling him directly.

"Bella is still in need of my care," Charlie stated simply. Carlisle scoffed at Charlie's obvious lie but at that moment the nurse popped in.

"Yes deary?" she asked sweetly, eying both of the men before her gaze landed on me.

At the moment, Charlie was distracted by the nurse and Carlisle quickly leaned down by my ear. "I told them I'm your boyfriend," he whispered to me with a slight blush reddening his cheeks.

I had to bite my lip to hold in a giggle. God, how much I wished that was true is insane! "I would like to speak to my boyfriend alone for a moment please." I told the nurse looking pointedly at Charlie.

"Of course," she said a bit confused but turned to Charlie who was glaring at me with a shocked expression. "Could you please step outside, sir?" she asked politely.

"Fine," Charlie spat and pushed his way roughly past the nurse and out the door.

She looked after him shocked for a moment and then she looked slightly pissed. "Alright, I'll leave you alone to talk." she said a bit sharper then she appeared to have intended it to be and stalked back out the door.

Carlisle finally let down his guard and collapsed in the chair next to my bed. "Is it true?" he asked simply with a defeated expression.

Here goes nothing. "Yes," I admitted without even the slightest hesitation. "But I can't leave him... he'll find me and hurt you." I told him sadly, tears forming in my eyes. "He's also the one that got me drunk and who broke my wrist and why I'm not eating..." I trailed off as I was overcome with sobs.

Carlisle pulled me into his arms without pulling out the stupid IV they've got me hooked up to and gently rubbed my back as I sobbed till I fell into a deep, restless sleep.

***

**CPOV**

"Carlisle..." Bella whispered and I glanced down at her, worried I had woken her as I tried to maneuver her a little so I was able to sleep comfortably.

Her eyes were still closed and she had this breathtaking smile on her face. Her breathing was still slow so I guessed she was talking in her sleep... and that means she's dreaming of me. I do hope it isn't a nightmare... wait! Why do I care?

I shook my head to clear it and gently pushed the hair from her face, waiting to see if she'd say anything else.

She smiled wider as she snuggled closer to me. "This is... nice," she murmured contentedly before she began to lightly snore.

I sighed. I can't just let her go back to that bastard... I could offer to allow her to stay with me. She's just so sweet, I can't believe _anyone _could do that to this angel. She really is beautiful.

I can't believe she was able to survive that probably many years of abuse she had to undergo. And with the heart she has- putting others before herself, strong.

Then it suddenly hit me- what's the deal with this Masen kid? From the looks of what happened yesterday he's not a good kid. What if he's abusing Bella too? Dear god.

"Excuse me," someone whispered by the door, breaking me from my thoughts.

I turned slightly to see the doctor. "Yes?" I inquired in a whisper as to not wake Bella.

"Visiting hours are over." he told me quietly.

I really didn't want to leave Bella here all alone but I guess the doctors won't allow anything to happen. I nodded and gently shifted Bella so she was laying on her back on the bed without my support. I took one last glance at her peaceful face and hesitantly leaned down to kiss her lightly on the forehead.

She smiled wider, if that was even possible, and sighed my name. I grinned and left the hospital.

***

The next morning I woke and immediately left for the hospital. As I entered I had this horrible feeling I forgot something but I really couldn't place it.

All of the nurses were giggling like crazy and the doctors were coughing to hide their laughs. I ignored all of this and fast-walked to Bella's room. Her doctor was standing outside the door to her room so I stopped to ask how she was.

He glanced up at me from his paperwork. "She's just woken up and is eating breakfast. At the rate she's healing she'll be able to go home in about two days."

I nodded. "Thanks, can I see her?"

He nodded and stepped aside to allow me access to the door. I walked in and Bella's eyes snapped up to look at me.

She immediately blushed a bright red as she looked me up and down and clamped her hand over he mouth in what appeared to be shock, then she burst into uncontrollable giggles.

I stood there dumbfounded for a moment before I looked down at myself.

"Fuck," I swore as I saw my stripped boxers and no pants.

"Forget something, Carlisle?" she asked suggestively between giggles and I blushed ten different shades of red.

Goddammit!

**(A.N.) I had to do that because that is exactly what my science teacher Mr. Curtis did last Friday! HILARIOUS!!! He was so embarrassed! I felt so bad for him though so I shut everyone up by standing and shouting, "SHUT UP MOTHER FUCKERS!" He was so thankful because that shut EVERYONE up! (My reward was I didn't have to take the test, he just gave me an A! Everyone was soooooo pissed!)**

**LOL!**

**Please review if you like-y! And alert and favorite!!! THANK YOU SO MUCH! LOVE YOU ALL!**

**Love,**

**Ms. White Christmas**


	5. Why Must I Be Punished?

**A.N. Thank you so entirely much to everyone that reviewed last chapter! Your all so amazing!**

**Here goes the next chapter!**

**P.S. I know nothing about the treatment of HIV so just bare with how I think it should be treated! LOLZ!**

**If they owns nothing, thou can't sue.**

_Goddammit!_

**BPOV**

Carlisle in his boxers simply made my day. He just busted right into my room clad in only his underthings and a ratty old t-shirt. I just couldn't stop laughing!

Now Carlisle sat in the seat beside the hospital bed, still beat red, wearing a borrowed robe. He was almost glaring at me, but my laugh seemed to soften his glare.

"It really isn't _that _funny, Bells," he scoffed and I quieted my giggles.

"I'm sorry, Carlisle," I apologized, not wanting to hurt him, I was really beginning to like him.

"I was just in a rush to make sure you were ok... you are ok, aren't you?" he asked, looking me over.

I felt all tingly as he did that... strange, right? "Much better, just can't wait to get out of this joint. It's rather boring in here..." I trailed off as I realized what I was saying.

I was wanting to go back to Charlie, go back and face the hell my life is. I threw my arms around Carlisle as best as I could with the I.V. "I don't want to go back to him, Carlisle." I sobbed into his shoulder.

He rubbed my back soothingly. "Sh, you don't have to... live with me." he suggested.

I had thought about that all night. I would hate to put him in danger of Charlie but he could help me report him to the police. That would be the hard part. They would need evidence that pointed to Charlie, which most likely means a rape kit.

I shuddered on the inside at the thought of anyone touching me down there.

"Please, Bells, sweetie, don't go back to him." Carlisle practically begged.

I hesitantly said, "Ok,"

He pulled back to look at me. His face brightened and a large smile flashed across his face. "You mean it?" he asked, to make sure.

I nodded. He hugged me tighter. "Thank you so much." he mumbled into my shoulder.

**~Two Days Later~**

"Knock, knock,"

I turned to see Carlisle standing in my door with a huge grin on his face. I grinned back, feeling so very relieved to see his face again. Over the past few days, I've come to really like him- really, really like him.

"Come in, how are you?" I asked as he walked into the hospital room I was growing so very sick of. The boring, plain, white walls making me quite claustrophobic. I would have gone insane if it weren't for Carlisle visiting me every day- staying the whole day. We'd talk or he'd just sit with me, keeping me company, if I was too tired to talk- which seemed to be happening a lot these past few days.

"Better, now that you're getting out of here. I never did like hospitals." he said with a small chuckle. "How are you feeling?" he asked, truly concerned, as he brought me into a small, comforting hug.

I smiled as I hugged him back with all my might. "Better, now that you're taking me out of here. I never have liked hospitals." I chuckled as I nearly repeated what he'd just said to me.

He smiled, then a serious, somewhat sad, expression came over his face as he pulled back a little. "Are you... are you sure? I don't want you feeling... uncomfortable." he asked, giving me a choice.

The sad look in his eyes had my heart tugging. "I'm sure, I know you won't make me feel uncomfortable." I said, meaning every word.

He put a small smile on his face but his eyes still looked somewhat unsure. I pulled him back into the hug and hesitantly kissed his shoulder. "Thank you, so much, for everything." I whispered.

I looked around Carlisle as someone cleared his throat by the door. Doctor Gerandy was standing there with some paperwork in his hands. The look on his face made my stomach clench. Was the rape kit back?

He walked in and Carlisle put his arm around my waist comfortingly, taking a hold of my hand with the other. I leaned into him, needing the support.

"It had been too long since the rape to get any firm information," he started. "But, you are AIDS positive and are pregnant." he added sullenly.

I was stunned. Then, when the full force of the news hit me, it hit hard. I collapsed into Carlisle and he supported me. "The fucking bastard gave me AIDS and impregnated me but there isn't any evidence against him." I sobbed into his shirt.

"You know who did this to you? Is it the same person who... gave you all those bruises?" the doctor asked sounding shocked.

I looked up at Carlisle, searching. He nodded a small nod with a sad look on his face. "Yes and yes. It was my father."

**DGPOV (Doctor Gerandy's Point of View)**

The nurse walked into my office with Isabella's paperwork I had been anxiously awaiting. She handed it to me with a sullen face. I hurriedly flipped through it.

_No sign of rape except minimal tearing._

_AIDS positive._

_Pregnant._

My heart broke for this girl. She's been so sweet, too sweet to be a victim of rape _and _abuse. She's skittish, like anyone that's been hurt, but she's got a fire in her. She can definitely dish the sarcasm and isn't afraid to voice her hate for the hospital. But she's also very thankful to me, even when it's my job to do this, she can't stop saying thank you.

I got up from my desk, thanked the nurse, and made my way slowly to room 192.

The worst part of a doctor's job has to be the first time you see your patient and telling them the news. Especially if the person receiving the news doesn't deserve it in the least. Isabella Swan definitely didn't deserve this. I wonder who could have done this to her. Of course I still have my suspicions about her 'boyfriend'. But, with how supportive he's been acting and how she's been acting towards him, I find that I can't see that happening. So I move to other ties, family backgrounds. I did a search on her father, her only living family, and find that he's been put in jail a few times. Drunk driving, attacking a bartender, nearly killing a prostitute- all leading to him being the one that did that to Isabella. It showed that he was a drunk and violent.

When I got to her room, I saw Carlisle and Isabella 'sharing a moment' as most people would say, so I waited a little while, trying to give them some privacy.

"Are you... are you sure? I don't want you feeling... uncomfortable." he asked with a deep sadness in his voice. He sounded like he really cared for the girl.

"I'm sure, I know you won't make me feel uncomfortable." she said softly.

This only proved further that he'd done nothing to her. And, if I was being honest with myself, I had dug up his files and he'd only gotten two traffic tickets for running a red light and speeding.

It was silent for a second the she whispered, "Thank you, so much, for everything."

I cleared my throat, peeking into the door. Isabella turned to me and Carlisle put an arm around her waist, took her hand and I walked in. She leaned into him and I began.

"It's been too long since the rape to get any firm information," I started. "But, you are AIDS positive and are pregnant." I added sullenly.

She looked shocked for a mere moment, then fell into Carlisle, sobbing. My heart tugged for her. "The fucking bastard gave me AIDS and impregnated me but there isn't any evidence against him." she cried into his shirt.

Huh? She knows who did this to her? "You know who did this to you? Is it the same person who... gave you all those bruises?" I asked shocked.

She glanced up at Carlisle then turned to me. "Yes and yes. It was my father." she said, her voice shaking noticeably.

Just as I had suspected. "Are you going to file a report?" I asked concern lacing my voice.

Bella had started sobbing beyond words so I turned to Carlisle who was soothing her.

"Yes, I'm going to help her," he told me quietly, rubbing her back as she sobbed.

I nodded and turned back to Isabella, hoping to talk to her. "Please, I would like to ask you a few questions, Isabella,"

She sniffled. "P-please... call me B-Bella." her voice cracked.

But, it's something. "Would you like to sit?" I offered and she nodded.

**BPOV**

Oh my god. It just hit me. Will Carlisle still want me around, now that he knows how truly broken I am? Pregnant, AIDS, so... broken.

I sat on the bed, releasing Carlisle so he had the choice of running out of my life, but he just sat right beside me and put his arm reassuringly around my waist. I smiled shyly up at him and he returned it.

"First of all, I need to know where you'll be going. An orphanage, another relative...?" he trailed off, making it a question.

"I'm staying with Carlisle," I answered.

His eyes got wide for a second but he simply nodded and moved on. "You have the option of abortion, is that something you would consider?" he asked, looking between Carlisle and I.

I stayed silent, really unsure if abortion is the way I wanted to go. I hated the thought of killing _any _baby but this was my monster father's baby- and I wanted no reminder of him.

"You of course can have time to think this over, this is a rather large decision and there's no need to rush into anything," he assured me quickly and I smiled appreciatively.

He took a deep breath. "Now, about the AIDS," he began and I held my breath. "It looks like we've caught it just in time, it will always be there but there is medication you can take to have a normal life." he continues and I release my breath in a relieved sigh.

"What type of medication, doctor?" Carlisle inquired as he rubbed my back.

"Bella would have to take a at-home shot weekly, a missed week could be fatal." Doctor Gerandy replied sullenly.

"Thank you, Doctor Gerandy." Carlisle said quietly as I began to sob into his shirt.

I heard his retreating footsteps and all was silent, even my tears came out soundlessly. It was too much, just far too much to deal with.

"Why must I be punished... for what that man did?" I asked to no one in particular. That was the one question that has been running through my mind; and I realized something. I'm never going to have an answer.

Yea, life is just cruel like that.

**(A.N.) OMG! Thank you so much for being patient with me! I'm so sorry this hasn't gone up sooner! I've had a lot going on (fighting with my parents, being grounded, etc.) and couldn't get on to type! So, don't hate me! Let's hug and make it better! LOLZ! So, please review, favorite, alert, anything will make me happy!**

**Love,**

**Ms. White Christmas**


	6. Another Complication

**A.N. Thank you so much to everyone that reviewed! I was so happy to find that I soon got ten reviews(in case you didn't know, that is my minimum for posting the next chapter!) and got to fast working on this chapter! Hope you like my sweet readers!**

**If thy owns nothing, thou can't sue.**

_Yea, life is just cruel like that._

**BPOV**

"Alright, here's your medication. You'll need to either give yourself a shot or have someone else do it once a day and take one of each of these pills every other day. Do you got that?" The nurse spoke softly to me.

I nodded my head, it was so much medicine!

She smiled in a motherly way. "Alright, sweetie. Directions are on the bag if you need to look over it again." She gave me the assortments of medicine and wished me a good day. That almost made me laugh.

Carlisle put his arm around my waist and I leaned into him as we walked out of the hospital. I breathed in a deep breath of fresh air- which I haven't gotten in a while- as soon as I was clear of the sliding glass doors that kept me encased in the horrid place. Carlisle opened the passenger door of his black Mercedes for me and I got in with a quiet thank you. He got in the driver's side and put the key in the ignition but just let it hang there. He turned to me and took my hand that lay on the middle armrest.

"Everything will be fine." He gave me a reassuring smile and I almost believed him- almost.

I chewed on my lip. "But, no matter what the doctor says, I'll never live a truly normal life. I'll always be scared, I'll always have to take this medication... I might have a baby at just eighteen." I shut my eyes to encase the tears.

Carlisle didn't seem to like that I thought of all this in a bad direction. He kept a hold of my hand and started the car.

"I won't be a burden to you, will I?" I fretted, not wanting him to get annoyed with me.

He looked at me like I was crazy. "Of course not!"

Another idea hit me that I hadn't even thought of- the thought overcame me with sadness.. "What about your wife?" I whispered.

He chuckled. "I'm not married." he said with a grin and my heart literally skipped a beat.

"Oh!" I exclaimed, shocked, with a grin.

His grin widened but he then looked a bit nervous. "Bella... would you like to do something with me, tonight?" he asked in a nervous tone that sounded just like a little school boy asking out the girl of his dreams- I nearly laughed.

A small giggle escaped my lips. "What did you have in mind?"

He smiled, relieved. "I was thinking a movie."

I really liked that idea. "I'd love to."

We spent the rest of the ride in a comfortable silence, the radio playing soft classical as background music. My mind wandered to whether or not I'd want to keep this baby. My mind immediately responded with a firm no; but my heart was not as quick to judge. My soul reminded me that this was a human being- you don't want to be cruel like Charlie now do you? That hit home. There is another angle though. Of course I don't want to be like Charlie- but, would Carlisle want to have a baby in the house. That thought hadn't crossed my mind before.

I glanced over at Carlisle without turning my head completely. He did so as well. He brought our entwined hands to his lips and gently kissed mine before looking back at the road.

"C-carlisle?" I internally cursed myself for allowing my voice to break.

He glanced at me once again. "Yes, Bella?"

I chickened out. "What movie are we going to see?"

He grinned. "I thought you could use some comedy so I chose _She's Out Of My League_."

I laughed. "I've wanted to see that one."

"It reminds me very much of you and I." I looked over at him- sure that he was going crazy.

"That is such a lie- it's the other way around and you know that." I rolled my eyes.

He snorted in a really cute way and I sighed. "Come on, you know it's true."

He looked at me, exasperated. "And you should know your a terrible liar."

I let it drop, seeing as it appeared to be a lost cause. "Carlisle?" I tried again.

He looked at me, expectant.

"What would you say," I began. "if I kept the baby?" I looked out the window, not ready to meet his gaze I felt burning into my face.

It was silent for a second. "I'd say that I would do anything for you and the baby." he reassured me in what seemed to be a knowing voice.

I let out a breath I hadn't realized I'd been holding. I finally risked a glance at his face and it showed all the sincerity in the world.

"Is that what you've been thinking about?" he question, mildly curious.

"Yes," I nodded my head.

"Hm," he mumbled thoughtfully as he parked the car and got out.

I was unbuckling my seat belt, intending to open my door, when he opened it for me. I blushed slightly as I got out. "You're quite the gentlemen." I grinned at him. "There aren't a lot of them out there anymore."

He frowned. "Sadly, you would know."

I frowned as well. "Yea, I guess I would know."

He hesitantly stroked my cheek, pushing back my hair from my face in the process. "My niece left some of her clothes here for whenever she visits- would you like to change and then we can go to the movies?"

Not fully trusting my voice at the moment, I nodded my head.

"Alright," He put his arm around my waist and led me forward into the house.

I finally got a good look at his place. His house made a mansion look like a crumbling shack. It was about three stories high, completely white, and made mostly of windows. The lawn was perfectly cut with wildflowers growing here and there. The inside was mostly soft colors like whites and off whites.

"You have a... nice house." What a conspicuous understatement.

He chuckled. "Thank you," He led me up a huge staircase that spiraled upwards. At the landing to the second floor we stepped from the stairs and he took me to the door at the very end of the hallway. He opened the door for me and I took a step inside.

"This is my niece Rosalie's room for her visits. You can go to her closet and find something to change into and we'll deal with which room will be yours once we're back." he told me and I nodded. He shut the door on his way out.

I took a deep breath and turned away from looking at the door to scan the room. It was very simple; the room consisted of creme colored furniture and several fashion posters of stars I've never seen before hung on every inch of the wall- there were also many shirtless guys which I rolled my eyes at.

I went to the door which I assumed to be the closet. I opened it to reveal rack upon rack of clothing- all designer labeled. My mouth gaped for a second before I recovered and was able to force myself into the walk-in closet. I searched for simple things that I could feel comfortable in. Like a pair of boyfriend jeans, a band tee, and a sweatshirt- which this closet was deprived of. It held mega-skinny jeans, designer tees, and Gucci coats. I blanched at the thought of wearing something so atrocious.

I eventually came across some loose-fitting skinny jeans and a black, long-sleeved tee that read Bite Me. I snickered at that. I peeked outside the room before hesitantly walking out and down the stairs. I felt absolutely ridiculous in this formfitting ensemble.

I eventually found myself in his kitchen when, just then, my phone rang. What did I do with that? It sounded nearby.

"Bella!" Carlisle called and I fast walked towards his voice. My phone became louder as I got closer.

I turned one corner and ended up in a office-looking room and Carlisle sat behind his desk with my phone in hand. Three of the walls were huge bookcases and one held many paintings. I walked over and took it from him.

"Thanks." I took one look at the caller id and froze in the spot.

"Is something wrong, Bella?" I looked up from the phone at Carlisle.

I shook my head and held up a finger to give me one second before walking out of his room and outside the house through a back door. I hesitantly flipped open the phone and held it to my ear.

"Hello, Bella. How about you turn around? I have a surprise for you..."

**CPOV**

I could hardly stand to watch the nurse give Bella all the medicine she must take in order to keep her AIDS under control and not kill her. So she could attempt to live a normal life.

It made me further frustrated as the nurse wished her a good day. I decided I was going to make this a good day for Bella. At least I hope my idea of a good day for her would be a good day to her.

I put my arm around her waist and gently led her from the hospital and to my car. I opened up the door for her and she got in with a quiet thank you. I got in as well and put the key in the ignition but I let it hang there. I turned to her and took up her hand in mine.

"Everything will be fine." I did my best to give her a reassuring smile.

She chewed on her lip in a really cute way. "But, no matter what the doctor says, I'll never live a truly normal life. I'll always be scared, I'll always have to take this medication... I might have a baby at just eighteen." Tightly, she shut her eyes.

I frowned, remaining silent. I didn't like that she spoke of it in such a horrid way. I knew we could get through this together. I started the car and left the parking lot.

"I won't be a burden to you, will I?" she fretted.

I looked over at her like she was crazy. She would never be a burden to me! "Of course not!"

"What about your wife." she whispered, a slight sadness shown through her closely held up defenses.

I chuckled trying to lighten the mood. "I'm not married." I reassured her with a grin.

"Oh." She grinned back.

My grin widened as an idea popped into my head of a way to make this day better for her. I also felt immensely nervous at the thought of it. I pondered the pros and cons for a short moment. If she says yes this could be the start of something and it will mean she likes me back. On the other hand, if she says no it will be completely awkward. I decided the the pros outweighed the cons.

"Bella... would you like to do something with me tonight?" I asked. My voice held every ounce of nervousness I held.

A small cute giggle escaped her lips. "What did you have in mind?"

Did she seriously just agree to it? Relief flooded through me like someone just opened up the floodgate. "I was thinking a movie."

She seemed to like that. "I'd love to."

We spent the majority of the ride in a comfortable silence listening to the soft tinkling of classical in the background. Bella was so quiet and seemed to be thinking hard about something. For once in my life, I wanted to be able to read minds so I could find out what was going on in her mind.

I glanced over at her without actually turning my head. She was staring thoughtfully out of the window but seemed to not see the green wall of trees on the other side of the road. I looked back at the road.

I wondered idly if she would really be comfortable staying with me. I really hoped so. What if she is uncomfortable, though? What would happen to her? No, she's legal age so she legally doesn't have to live with anyone. That thought stunned me. She's legal age... then why does she want to stay with me? Oh, yea, money purposes. I sighed at that thought. Yet, she did say yes to the movie. But that's just us hanging out, she wouldn't possibly think it to be a... _date_. No, I'm her teacher, it can't be a date.

The unanswered babbling going on in my head exhausted me. I leaned further back into my seat, resting my head on the headrest. I glanced at her just as she glanced at me and I brought our entwined hands up to my lips to kiss her's softly.

"C-carlisle?" Bella asked. I caught the small fact that her voice broke.

I looked over at her. "Yes, Bella?"

She thought for a second and seemed to change her question. "What movie are we going to see?"

I grinned. I really hope she likes my movie choice. "I thought you could use some comedy so I chose _She's Out Of My League_."

She laughed, obviously liking my choice."I've wanted to see that one."

I sighed in relief. "It reminds me very much of you and I." She looked at me like I'd grown another head.

"That is such a lie- it's the other way around and you know that." She rolled her eyes like it was completely obvious.

Now, that is a lie. She is beautiful, sweet, smart, caring, strong... and so many other things- _way out of my league. _I snorted.

She sighed. "Come on, you know it's true."

"And you should know you're a terrible liar."

She let it go. "Carlisle?" she repeated.

I looked back at her, wondering what she was going to ask.

"What would you say," she began. "if I kept the baby?" She looked out the window, avoiding my eyes.

So, this is what she's been thinking about the whole time she was silent. I knew immediately that she was worrying whether or not I would approve of having a baby in my house. Silly girl, I would willingly be the baby's not-blood-father if she wanted me to be. "I'd say that I would do anything for you and the baby." I reassured her.

She let out a low breath and peeked over at me.

"Is that what you've been thinking about?" I asked, already pretty sure the answer was yes.

"Yes," She nodded her head.

"Hm," I mumbled as I parked the car. I hopped out and jogged around to her side to open the door for her. She blushed slightly as she got out.

"You're quite the gentlemen." She grinned up at me. "There aren't a lot of those out there anymore."

I frowned, seeing exactly what she was talking about. "Sadly, you would know."

She frowned as well. "Yea, I guess I would know."

I hesitantly reached out and stroked her cheek in a caring gesture. I pushed a strand of her hair from her face. "My niece left some of her clothes here for whenever she visits- would you like to change and then we can go to the movies?"

She nodded.

"Alright," I put my arm around her waist and led her up to my front door.

She looked around. "You have a... nice house." she complimented.

I get that a lot. I chuckled. "Thank you," I led her up the staircase and to the second floor and to the last door on the hallway where my niece Rosalie stays during her frequent visits. I opened the door and she stepped inside.

"This is my niece Rosalie's room for when she visits. You can go to her closet and find something to change into and we'll deal with which room will be yours once we're back." I told her.

She nodded and I left to give her some privacy.

I went back downstairs and into my office remembering some test papers that required my attention. I opened the door and sat down at my desk. Before me sat a huge stack of papers. I sighed and began grading.

I had called in sick while Bella was in the hospital and the sub dropped off these papers for me to grade. We were both going to have to get back to school soon- like Monday since it was Friday. It thrilled me that Bella and I had the whole weekend together.

I jumped when something rang from in my pocket. I took it out and realized it was Bella's cell phone. I vaguely remembered putting it there for safe keeping the other day.

"Bella!" I called. Light footsteps got louder until Bella came in my office. She walked over and took her phone.

"Thanks." She looked at the caller id and her eyes widened in fright.

I became alarmed. Who could it be? "Is something wrong, Bella?" She looked up at me.

She shook her head and held up a finger before walking out of my office. I heard the back door shut. Then, there was a blood-curdling scream.

**(A.N.) OOOOH! WHO COULD IT BE??? DUN DUN DUUUUUN! Ha ha, you'll find out next chapter after I get ten reviews! Please give me your thoughts! They give me courage to keep writing!**

**Love,**

**Ms. White Christmas**


	7. Reminisce Old And New Memories

**A.N. Oh my god!!! You all reviewed so quickly! I had to get this chapter out speedy fast because you are all so damn awesome! I LOVE YOU ALL SO MUCH! :') Your great reviews made me write so fast my hands cramp! LOLZ! Please enjoy and I hope you aren't disappointed! :)**

_She shook her head and held up a finger before walking out of my office. I heard the back door shut. Then, there was a blood-curdling scream._

**BPOV**

I didn't recognize the voice over the phone- nor the number for that matter. "W-who is this?" There was no way in hell I was going to turn around. Adrenalin pulsed through my veins and blood thudded in my ears, making it nearly impossible to hear someone talk into the phone- if someone were talking.

The line disconnected just as someone tapped my shoulder. I screamed bloody-murder before whirling around.

As I saw the beautiful golden eyes, so very familiar from long ago, the scream caught in my throat. My mouth dropped open.

She grinned at my reaction. "Remember me?" she asked innocently.

I couldn't believe my own eyes. My best friend from Forks was here! In New York! She still looked exactly the same. Very short height, spiky brown hair, extremely pale, inhumanly beautiful, and still reminded me very much of a pixie.

"Alice?" I breathed in shock.

"Bella!" I jumped when I heard Carlisle's frantic voice.

The back door swung open and he stood there, holding a baseball bat like a weapon. His eyes were wide and they only widened at the sight of Alice.

I laughed without meaning to at his frantic expression. "No worries, Carlisle," I said in a reassuring tone, trying to calm him. I turned back to glare at Alice. "Alice here just scared the living daylights out of me." I chastised in a joking way.

She grinned apologetically. "Well, I think we scared the living death out of Carlisle here." She gestured to Carlisle and I raised an eyebrow at her choice of pun but brushed it off.

I looked back at Carlisle to see him breathing hard and fast with his eyes shut tight. He had the bat on the ground and he was putting most of his weight on it. I hurriedly walked over to him and put a hand on his shoulder.

"Hey, are you ok?" I asked worriedly.

He nodded. "You just... scared me." he explained, opening his eyes and giving me a grin.

I grinned back at him and Alice walked up to stand by my side.

"Carlisle, this is my best friend from before I moved here- Alice. Alice this is..." I paused thinking of the best way to describe Carlisle. "my teacher- Carlisle" I finally decided to go with, not liking it at all.

"Hm..." Alice hummed thoughtfully, looking at me like I had not given the whole truth. "We'll talk about it later." she whispered too low and quick for Carlisle to hear.

I sighed and rolled my eyes. She always read too much into things... but she always ended up being right. Well, that's a psychic for you.

Carlisle pushed himself back upright and extended his hand towards Alice. I got scared for a second but I then realized she wore a long, red, leather glove. She took it and daintily shook his hand. Carlisle chuckled at that.

As soon as they lowered their hands I pounced on Alice. I hugged her with every ounce of my strength and she hugged me gently back. She began to bounce slightly.

"It is so good to see you again!" I squealed in happiness. "What brings you from Forks to New York?" I asked, truly curious, as I released her.

Alice grinned. "I missed you so much and I had to make sure you were ok."

Carlisle leaned down to whisper in my ear. "Does she know?"

I nodded with a small grimace.

"Well, you seem to be ok." Alice said suggestively, glancing between Carlisle and I.

A look of pure horror spread across my face and I pushed her arm playfully. "Shut up, Ali!" I hissed in shock.

She giggled and wiggled her eyebrows. I giggled with her, unable to stay mad at her for more then a few seconds.

"Well," Carlisle looked at his watch, distracting me. "the movie is going to start soon... does Alice want to go?"

I looked at Alice in a way that said 'say yes and I'm going to kill you'.

She understood. "A movie, huh?" Alice raised an eyebrow at me. "Thank you for the offer but I must get along." Alice said politely, winking at me.

I grinned appreciatively at her. I really wanted this alone time with Carlisle... and I sound insane! I want to have alone time with my _teacher_? But I want to have more than a student/teacher relationship with him... what a mess.

I really wanted to see her later, though, but I wasn't sure if Carlisle would allow it. I sent Alice a sorrowful glance and I think she got the meaning.

I jumped at the sound of my phone going off for a text. I retrieved it from my pocket and unlocked the screen of my blood red i-phone that Alice had gotten me, after many denials which were ignored completely, for a going away gift. She grinned at the sight of it.

**Text from Alice**

I rolled my eyes. Alice abuses her vampire speed sometimes- like texting without someone seeing her do so. I opened the text.

**I'll be here tonight. You better have details ready!**

I blushed and texted back a quick ok. I knew well not to question her methods of breaking and entering after two years of her doing so in Forks.

Alice threw her arms around my neck. "It's so good to see you again!" she squealed before turning and running at a human pace to the forest behind Carlisle's house. "Love you, Bells!"

"Love you too, Ali!" I called with an affectionate grin.

"Well, she seems... energetic." Carlisle cleared his throat at the conspicuous understatement.

I laughed. "She's my little energizer bunny." I said affectionately.

He chuckled and put an arm around my waist. "I think we've had enough excitement for one day, ready to go?"

I grimaced before nodding. We went back through the house to the foyer. Carlisle grabbed his keys and wallet from a table by the door. I was becoming increasingly nervous as we got closer to the movie theater. I started to fidget slightly.

He took my hand and squeezed. "Nervous?" he asked gently.

"No." I answered too quickly to be believable. "Maybe." I allowed and he chuckled gently.

He rubbed the back of my hand. "There's nothing to worry about." he murmured soothingly.

"Easy for you to say." I mumbled under my breath, meant for only my ears.

He laughed again, catching my words. "I don't have as much experience as you seem to think."

That instantly made me curious. "How many, then?"

He looked up at me in surprise. "Girlfriends?"

I nodded, urging him to go further.

His cheeks reddened with a slight blush. "Two."

My eyes widened. I could hardly believe that. "There is no way..." I trailed off as I looked into his extremely sincere, mesmerizing eyes.

"They both only wanted me for the things I inherited from my parents' passing. The money, the house..." he informed me with a great irritation.

I frowned and my eyebrows furrowed. "That's rude... and I'm sorry to hear about your parents." I said apologetically.

"Not your fault," he murmured. "I loved them dearly." He got out before I could say another word and opened my door for me. I hesitantly took his hand and twined my fingers with his. He smiled, looking almost as nervous as I felt, and brought my hand up to his lips. I blushed and we walked up to a ticket booth.

"Two for _She's Out of My League._" Carlisle told the bored-looking guy behind the glass screen.

"14.50," the dude slurred, thoroughly bored.

I immediately felt bad for making him pay but he didn't seem to have a problem with it. He handed the guy the money and, in return, got the tickets.

Playfully, I took his wrist that had his watch on it to see the time. "Hm... 6:40." I mumbled thoughtfully and grinned playfully up at him.

He chuckled as I still held onto his wrist and opened the glass door with his other hand. I let his wrist go and instead he put his arm around my waist. We walked up to the concession stand.

"What do you want?" he asked, looking around at the assortment of foods.

I still didn't want him to buy so much for me but I was starving. "Popcorn, skittles... and a coke." I grinned sheepishly up at him.

He chuckled. "Great, I love skittles," He ordered for us as I leaned against the counter.

Immediately after the concession dude sat down the bag of skittles I grabbed it up and popped a handful of them into my mouth.

"Hungry, much?" he joked with a playful grin.

I flushed bright red. "Starving," I admitted with a shy grin as I put a few more in.

He chuckled before opening the door to our theater room.

It was already quite dark so we hurriedly took our seats. He led me all the way to the top where we were alone and to one end of the row.

My nervousness only grew as it became darker when the movie began. I took out another skittle and turned in my seat. I put the skittle to his lips and he opened so it dropped in. He closed his mouth and kissed my finger.

I giggled softly and sat back right in my seat.

From the corner of my eye, I saw Carlisle pretend to stretch and laid his arm on my shoulders. I laughed quietly at him and the movie at the same time.

I laughed really hard when the guy and the girl were having a really hot make out session and then the girl's father walks in. The guy had a major erection which he attempted to cover up. Carlisle laughed along with me.

I looked over at him to find he was looking at me with a new nervousness in his beautiful green eyes. I cocked an eyebrow but, before I could voice my question, his face was right before mine. I stopped breathing.

"Can I... try something, Bella?" he breathed.

His sweet smell intoxicated me. I could only nod. He leaned in further, my heart thumped wildly in my chest. After what felt like hours, he finally pressed his lips firmly- yet softly- to mine. A spark of electricity shocked me. I immediately wrapped my arms around his neck, interlocking my fingers to hold him in place, and formed my lips with his. He gently caressed my cheek. We eventually needed to pull back for air. We were both gasping to regain our breath as we leaned against each others forehead.

"Wow," I couldn't think of anything else to say that would describe that kiss. It was beyond words and yet, at the same time, worth a million.

He chuckled breathlessly. "Took the words right from my mouth." His lips twitched, threatening to turn into a cocky grin.

I slapped his shoulder playfully as I leaned back into my seat. He caught me before I could lean back all the way and brought me towards him for one short, chaste peck on the lips before letting my fall back to my seat, dazed. The one short, loving kiss left me with that same electric shock flowing through me- my blood on fire.

**(A.N.) Y'all have been so great with reviewing so let's see if I can get fifteen this time!!! Please don't be stingy and let me know your true feelings on my writing! I hope you weren't too disappointed with who it was on the phone with Bella... then the date... please tell me in a review!!!**

**Love,**

**Ms. White Christmas**


	8. Had I Not Had Enough Gold?

**A.N. Thank you so much to everyone that read and reviewed!!! :)**

**If thy owns nothing, thou can't sue.**

_The one short, loving kiss left me with that same electric shock flowing through me- my blood on fire._

**BPOV**

Carlisle opened my door for me, the gentlemen as always, after he parked his car in the driveway at his house. The only thing I wanted more than to talk to Alice was for Carlisle to kiss me again. I was afraid to push my luck though so I could never voice that.

I stood from the car. He put his hands lightly on my hips and walked behind me as we walked to the d front door. "Did you have a good time?" he asked quietly as he kissed the skin beneath my ear.

I shivered at the slight contact. "No, I had a great time." I said with a smile for he had looked slightly hurt when I said no.

We were now in the house and he suddenly turned me around so we were facing each other. He grinned slyly and I wondered what he was up to. He suddenly pushed me up against the wall in the hallway. He growled as he kissed my neck and along my jawline.

My god that was hot! That growl made my stomach clench and I began to feel my arousal. I really hoped he couldn't feel it too. I weaved my hands into his beautiful, golden hair and forced his mouth to meet mine.

He wrapped his arms around my waist and pressed his body closer to mine. He ran a hand through my hair and down my back. He pressed his tongue against my lips and I willingly opened them. His tongue explored my mouth as mine explored his.

He eventually pulled back and kissed along my jaw bone. I giggled lightly as his hand went up my shirt and traced patterns on my stomach. He laid his forehead gently against mine and I met his gaze.

"That wasn't... too much was it?" he asked, looking really anxious.

I shook my head and lovingly kissed his forehead in reassurance. "That was... perfect." I could think of no other way to describe the moment. Well, who could blame me? I could hardly remember my own name!

He chuckled at my scrambling for the right word. "Yes, it was." he murmured as he continued to trace light patterns on my stomach.

I went out on a limb for once in my life. "Move higher, Mr. Cullen." I growled seductively as I lightly touched his muscular upper arm with the tips of my fingers.

His eyes twinkled with a playfulness that made him look all the more younger. Slowly, agonizingly slow, he moved his hand farther up until it came to rest on my bra. I nodded my head in permission and he went around the back to unbutton it. He fumbled with it for a second before sliding it off my arms and allowing it to fall to the ground.

He attacked my lips again as he lightly flicked my perked nipple. I moaned into his mouth as I pulled him closer. He began to massage my breast, getting harder and faster. He released my mouth and I let out another moan. He moved down to kiss my breasts through the shirt before stopping. He smiled, a light flickering in his eyes from the experience. His eyes darkened with lust and need.

"I think we had better stop, before this gets out of hand." he warned huskily in a deep voice that got me wanting him- needing him.

I nodded my head in agreement though. If I had a baby inside of me, it probably wasn't a good idea for me to be doing overly active activities. My hand unconsciously went down to gently, tenderly touch my slightly extended stomach.

He placed a hand on top of mine and smiled at me. "I'm sure he'll be a beautiful, smart baby." Carlisle murmured in reassurance as he gently squeezed my hand and began to rub my stomach with it.

I shook my head. "No, it's a girl."

***

I had just taken a long, hot shower and changed into some of Rosalie's pajamas- which consisted of short, short boy shorts and tank tops. I blushed furiously at the sight of them. I now lay on my bed in my new room. A knock came from the door and I sat up, blushing again at what I was wearing.

"Come in," I called softly, timidly.

Carlisle stepped in and his eyes widened ever-so-slightly, then he looked apologetic when he saw my blush. "I'm sorry about the limited clothing... Rose is like that." he apologized with a disapproving sigh.

I smiled as he came to sit next to me. "No worries. With Alice... I'm used to it." I amended with a disapproving sigh much like his own, remembering all those sleepovers when she'd forced me into many things much like this.

Carlisle chuckled at the disapproval and horror in my voice. "I just came in to say goodnight, Bella." he told me with a smile as he leaned forward and gently pressed his lips to mine in what was supposed to be a chaste kiss.

I held onto his tie which he had yet to take off to keep him there, kissing me. He smiled against my lips and a small moan escaped at my tugging on his tie. I knew I was going to have fun with that tie of his later on.

I finally pulled back and smiled innocently up at him. "Night, Carlisle," I purred innocently.

He growled gently and quickly kissed me one last time before leaving the room.

I jumped when I heard someone tsk from the window. Alice sat on the window seal, shaking her head in what appeared to be disapproval but a broad smile spread across her face. She hoped into my room.

"Now, now, now. Where has my young, innocent, shy Bella gone?" she asked incredulously.

I blushed slightly and gave her a hug. "She flew right out the window." I muttered sarcastically as I pulled back. A smile immediately lit my face at the sight of my friend. I hugged her again. "It is so amazing to see you, I thought I had lost you for sure when... when he made us move." I cursed myself for not even being able to speak his name.

She smiled, softly and knowingly. "You could never get rid of me that easily, it just took a while for me to get here." she murmured softly.

We spent the rest of the time I could keep my eyes open talking about my date with Carlisle and other things going on in our lives. I was shocked when Alice said she has yet to meet some vampire her type.

"Really?" I asked, completely astounded.

She nodded her head. "I'm not sure I want to fall in love... I guess it would be nice but it would probably drag me down." she ranted quietly.

I could tell she was lying through her teeth. "You'll find someone, Alice," I reassured her and patted her knee.

She smiled gratefully at me just as I yawned. "Ok, I think the human needs her beauty sleep." Alice amended with a chuckle.

I rolled my eyes. "Great, another nickname." I muttered sarcastically as I slumped back onto my bed in a sudden rush of tiredness.

Alice laughed her soft tinkling laugh and gently kissed my cheek. "Love you, Bells," she murmured before her expression went blank. She frowned, looking thoroughly confused.

My forehead crinkled in confusion. "What did you see?" I asked quietly.

Her eyes focused on me. "I'm... I'm not sure. I could only see myself over here tomorrow... so I guess I'm coming over." she amended.

I could tell she wasn't giving all the information but I just nodded. "Alright, Ali, love you too." I murmured and she jumped lithely out my second story window.

I woke to the sound of jays chirping a sweet lullaby tune just outside my window. Sunlight beamed in through the window, casting a long shadow on nearly everything.

I was startled to hear banging going on from downstairs. I slipped out of bed and walked carefully down the spiraling steps.

Curiously, I peeked around the corner and saw two people setting down some luggage and Carlisle greeting them warmly.

"Rosalie! Jasper! So nice of you to visit!" he exclaimed, happiness clear in his voice.

I came closer just as they each pulled back from Carlisle's warm hug. I gasped as I was met with warm, golden eyes.

**(A.N.) Dun dun duuuuuun! Sorry this one is rather short but I thought enough had happened this chapter! Let's just see what happens!!! PLEASE REVIEW! I WANT TO FEEL THE LOVE! XD**

**Love,**

**Ms. White Christmas**


	9. Jasper and Alice Sitting In A Tree

**A.N. A big thank you to everyone that reviewed!**

_I came closer just as they each pulled back from Carlisle's warm hug. I gasped as I was met with warm, golden eyes._

**CPOV**

_Alright, one more line to fill in..._

I was distracted from my paperwork by a knock at the door. My brows furrowed in confusion but I then remembered Rosalie and Jasper saying they were planning to come by soon.

I internally cursed myself for not remembering and informing Bella beforehand.

I got up from my desk and walked down the hallway. I picked up my keys from the table and unlocked the door. There stood Rose and Jasper.

They smiled at me and I beckoned them to come in. They walked inside and sat down their luggage.

"Rosalie! Jasper! So nice of you to visit!" I exclaimed, purely overjoyed by their visit. I loved my sister's kids like my own.

I embraced them both before turning when I heard a small gasp. Bella stood at the top of the steps on the second floor landing.

I smiled at her but she seemed to be preoccupied with something else. "Good morning!" I greeted her and she snapped out of it.

She looked at me and a smile immediately lifted the corners of her lips. She walked down the rest of the stairs.

"Morning, Carlisle," she replied in a small voice, looking timidly at Jasper and Rosalie, as her feet hit the floor at the end of the steps.

I bit my lip. I didn't want her to feel uncomfortable with my niece and nephew here. "Bella, this is Jasper and Rosalie," I pointed to each of them. "my sister's kids," I added. "Jasper, Rose, this is Bella." I completed introductions, going to stand by Bella. I gently put an arm around her waist and led her closer.

She attempted to smile. "Hello, it's nice to meet-" She was cut off by a hurried tapping on the door. She groaned and muttered a quick, "I'll get it." She stomped over to the door and twisted the brass handle.

That little pixie girl from yesterday bounded in before the door was fully open. Alice embraced Bella, bouncing slightly and I coughed to conceal my laughter.

"Hey, Ali. What'cha doin' here?" Bella asked in an exasperated tone, almost rudely.

Alice leaned down to whisper something to her and I saw Jasper's head snap up as if someone had called is name. Alice pulled away from Bella, whose mouth was hanging open, and turned to meet Jasper's curious gaze.

The first thing I noticed was the fact that their eyes were nearly the same shade of gold; Jasper's eyes had a lighter tint to them while Alice's had a slight ring of black around the outer edges. I looked closer at each of them and noticed there were other similarities. Their skin looked completely pale and rock hard, their eyes had dark shadows beneath them, and they looked _inhumanly _beautiful.

"Oh my god!" I jumped at Rose's disbelieving exclamation. "Is that an _original Gucci coat _you are wearing?" she sputtered in complete and utter shock, looking intently at the coat Alice wore.

I rolled my eyes and saw Bella do the same.

Alice looked at her coat nonchalantly and shrugged. "Perhaps... it was extremely expensive." she said with a smile playing at her lips.

Rose bounded over to stand beside her. "I already _know _we're going to be great friends."

Alice squealed, so high pitch it hurt my ears. "Shopping!" she exclaimed in pure delight.

I hadn't noticed Bella now stood by my side. "What did I tell you?" she muttered, making a tsking sound.

I chuckled. "Better her not Jasper." I said, loud enough for Jasper to hear. The two girls had walked upstairs, still talking, us completely forgotten.

I looked over at Jasper to see why he had not responded. He was looking up the stairs after Alice with a confused, longing expression. My eyebrows furrowed in confusion.

He looked back at me, his expression cleared, smiled, then chuckled. "Yea, no more torture." he said sarcastically with a sigh of relief.

Bella sighed. "I know exactly what you had to go through- believe me." she muttered with a slight annoyance showing through.

I chuckled. "Alright, Bella, how about we show Jasper to his room?"

**APOV**

I waited utill everyone was asleep, in the woods behind Carlisle's house. Just as the my watch struck midnight, Jasper appeared.

I hopped down from the high branch I had resided upon and walked towards him, a smile upon my face. Relief washed over me, he'd finally come.

He looked apprehensive but remained where he had stopped running.

"You've kept me waiting a long time," I said as I paused just before him.

He ducked his head, like a good Southern gentleman, and said, "I'm sorry, ma'am."

I held out my hand for him and he took it without a second thought. I finally felt whole.

"Who are you?" he asked quietly. "Why am I feeling this way?"

I giggled lightly at his extremely confused face. "Alice, Alice Marie Brandon, and it's love you're feeling, my kind sir." I whispered quietly as I took his face in my hands and kissed him.

He immediately kissed me back, wrapping his strong arms around my waist and pulling me close, into his loving embrace.

**BPOV**

Alice finally clued me in on her having had visions of Jasper for the past hundred years or so. Seeing them together and in love. I was still in a state shock. I was also so very happy for my friend, she so badly needed someone to love- beside me.

It was hilarious seeing Carlisle's face when Jasper and Alice came traipsing in the house, staring lovingly into each others eyes, after being out all night.

"Jasper Euan Hale! Where the hell have you been?!" Carlisle exclaimed, furious but trying to remain calm.

I looked up from the book I read on the couch to see Jasper's and Alice's back. I could easily see Carlisle looking sternly at Jasper. I covered my mouth the conceal my giggles.

"It's ok Carlisle, nothing happened. I only woke early and went for a walk- I bumped into Alice, here." Jasper explained soothingly and Carlisle seemed to calm immediately.

His face flushed with embarrassment as he took in Jasper's and Alice's stance towards each other- he seemed to know that they had hit it off. "Oh, I'm sorry, Jasper. Hello again, Alice." he greeted her and shook her hand gently.

Alice later on told me the true story.

***

I walked into my room Sunday night with Carlisle following me. We both sat upon the edge of my bed and he took me into his arms. I snuggled into his warm chest.

"I swear to god those two are in love." he stated out of the blue.

I laughed. "Ever heard of 'love at first sight'?" I asked, looking up at him.

He sighed. "Yes, I have... I believe in it." He looked like he had accidentally said too much, his cheeks reddened.

I stroked his cheek, gazing at him curiously. "What is it?" I asked.

He shook his head. "Nothing." He then effectively cleared the thought from my head.

He pressed his lips gently to mine and I quickly reciprocated. The kiss became more heated as it stretched on.

I broke off for a quick breath as he pushed me down onto the bed. Once we had caught our breath, I recaptured his lips in mine. I loved the new intensity of this kiss.

He gently licked my lips and sucked one in his mouth. I moaned, my lips parted and I inhaled his sweet, heady scent.

He pulled back suddenly and I pouted. He chuckled, kissed my pouting lip chastely, then left with a, "Goodnight, Bella,".

I groaned and yanked back the covers. I slid beneath them and shut my eyes. My system soon shut down and dreams overcame me, beginning where Carlisle had ended the kiss.

**(A.N.) Yes, there wasn't much Carlisle/Bella in this chapter... it was mostly introducing Jasper, Rose, and Alice and Jasper's love. Next chapter will be their first day back at school... oh the joy. Ha ha! Please review!**

**P.S. Check pages 301 and 302 of Eclipse if you're wondering why the Alice and Jasper part sounds so familiar! I got some of it from Jasper telling Bella about his encounter with Alice!**

**Love,**

**Ms. White Christmas**


	10. Nightmare

**A.N. Thanks for all the reviews! Hope you like this chapter!**

**Just in case you're wondering, Bella is taking her medicine everyday, I just don't want to put it in every chapter- it takes away from the story.**

**If thy owns nothing, thou can't sue.**

_I groaned and yanked back the covers. I slid beneath them and shut my eyes. My system soon shut down and dreams overcame me, beginning where Carlisle had ended the kiss._

**BPOV**

Carlisle pushed me back onto the bed, ever remaining in the intense kiss, as gentle as ever. His hands gently gripped my waist and my hands tugged at his beautiful blond hair. He moaned before he was yanked from my grip and the scene changed dramatically.

"Carlisle?" I called into the empty darkness that stretched before me. Everything was completely encased in a starless midnight. The only light in the room seemed to be illuminating from me- but dreams can be strange like that.

Someone chuckled darkly, becoming louder and louder until I saw who it belonged to- Carlisle. This Carlisle didn't look the same, though. His eyes were dark with rage instead of love and he had his hand raised.

Before I could think, his hand cut through the air and landed one sharp slap on my cheek. I didn't cry out but fell to the floor from the force of the impact. Tears waited for a moment of weakness. I didn't meet his gaze, I didn't want to see the malice in his eyes- or the humor.

His chuckle grew louder, filling the darkness. He was _laughing _at my pain. Anger grew in me but I could do nothing about it- my nightmare wouldn't let me move. I was simply frozen on the ground, not meeting his gaze, waiting for whatever hell this nightmare wanted me to got through.

I heard leather scrape against leather so I guessed he had taken off his belt. I was suddenly flipped onto my stomach in one fluid motion. The breath was knocked from me. I gasped to get my breathing back to normal, my heaving chest the only movement I could muster.

His breath was suddenly on my neck, making me shiver. The horrid stench of alcohol surrounded me, choking the darkness.

"I never wanted you, I only wanted to gain your trust so I could crush it then send you back to Charlie. Every kiss was a lie, I can't believe you actually started getting _comfortable _with me." He stopped to laugh at my stupidity. "I never loved you, never will." he said with every ounce of anger he held. "I can do so much better than a stupid, ugly, broken whore like you." he spat before standing straight and snapping the whip with brutal force to land a stinging blow to my back.

I couldn't have been crying more desperately than I was then. Sure, the whip hurt, but his words felt like a million knives piercing my skin right to my heart. Every name he called me felt like thousands of bee stings. I screamed, for it felt like my heart was crushed into a million pieces to be replaced by a gaping black hole.

I was awoken by someone lightly shaking me. "Bella, please wake up." someone kept saying.

Even in reality, I realized, I was sobbing and screaming. I quickly hushed my scream, scared of what Carlisle might do. I felt warm arms wrap around me and began to rock me like a mom would do to pacify their crying toddler. I stiffened up and my silent sobs continued. This was my Carlisle, but underneath was a monster.

I continued shaking, turning my head quickly side to side against his chest. "No, no, no, no, no..." I continued whimpering.

He placed his hand firmly on the back of my head, holding me against his chest and effectively stopping my movements. "No what, Bella?" he asked anxiously.

I refused to answer- I couldn't answer. I just continued sobbing and whimpering.

He sighed and the bed dipped. Someone else wrapped their arms around me. These arms were smaller and more petite.

I looked up to see Rosalie's hazy, blurred face through my tear-filled eyes. I relaxed slightly, hoping Carlisle wouldn't hurt me with her here. My sobs quieted a bit.

She smiled down at me and rubbed circles into my back. "Sh, it's alright," she murmured soothingly. It kind of surprised me- that she was being so kind and accepting to my being here.

I buried my face into the crevice between her neck and her shoulder. My tears turned into hiccups as I attempted to stop them, feeling like an idiot for crying so much.

I mean, I saw this coming- didn't I? I knew this nice, sweet and caring, loving Carlisle wasn't here to stay. But I wanted him to stay and I got my hopes up. That always seemed to happen- I get my hopes up and they always get crushed.

It was only a dream though, right? And dreams mean absolutely nothing. But this nightmare had felt so real, and it was possible. It also made more sense then what was happening now.

***

I quietly sat my toes down on the first floor. I hesitated there before silently bringing the heel of my foot down and then the other.

"Carlisle?" I called, scared as ever.

After much probing from her, I talked my dream over with Rose. She had told me how much of an impossibility that was and it was hard not to believe it. I mean- she is his niece.

I'm still scared shitless.

I jumped when Carlisle's head poked out of the kitchen. He wore a blue Polo shirt, tan slacks that fit him nicely, and an apron on top of it all. The main thing he sported was a ton of flour.

I wanted to laugh- so much, but I was still freaked out wondering if he was going to hit me. I thought if I laughed he would get mad so I coughed to conceal my laugh.

He smiled encouragingly. "Come on, you can laugh- I'm sure I look like shit right now." he said, gesturing to himself.

I shook my head. Was this some kind of trick, so he could beat me for laughing at him? I shivered at the thought, the dream still fresh in my mind.

He frowned. "Do you... do you want to talk about it?" he asked gently, stepping closer.

I took an involuntary step backwards, the heel of my foot brushed the soft carpet of the first step of the stairs, and he stopped. I nodded my head, thinking if I just talked about it then he could tell me I'm wrong- or _show_ me I'm right.

"Alright, come on in so I can finish with my disaster." he joked with a small smile, trying to lighten the mood.

I smiled, unable to continue frowning, and followed him back into the kitchen.

You know what's strange? If I forgot about my dream, which I had done for a second there, I felt nothing but warmth and safety being around Carlisle. Could it be possible that that stupid dream had only been putting crazy ideas into my head? What if I'm just overreacting about this and it was simply another nightmare? But that 'Nightmare' Carlisle had called me names that I knew were true.

Absentmindedly, I pulled out a bar stool from under the island and sat down. Not really in my body at the moment, I placed my head in my hands. Carlisle didn't say a thing as I continued to ponder my thoughts, but went on with his cooking.

What if, maybe- just maybe- Carlisle wasn't like Charlie or Edward? What if he isn't a horrible bastard bent on hurting those around him? What if he does care about me?

Warmth washed through me and I felt like I had found my answer. As much as I hated to admit it, I was scared of being hurt again.

I guess I had good reason. I loved both the bastards that hurt me. I loved Charlie and I loved Edward. And, deep down, I'll always love them and feel the pain of their abuse no matter what. I could try to forget, and I might someday forget, but there will always be this pang in my heart- this one place that never healed completely. I'll always have that scar- that reminder. Speaking of reminders- my whole body is a reminder. The bruises will fade but the scars will remain, ever present on my skin- a daily reminder.

But, with Carlisle's help, perhaps that wound in my heart would scab over.

I just then realized Carlisle was sitting across from me. I smiled at him, proud of myself for reaching my epiphany.

He smiled back that breathtaking grin that I loved so much- it never ceased to steal the breath from my lips. Hesitantly, he took the hand that wasn't supporting my head- but laying limply on the island table. He kissed each of my knuckles in a reassuring way.

"You've been thinking for a while." he stated once he had taken my hand from his lips.

I nodded, the smile still present on my lips.

He began to play with my fingers, concentrating on them. "I hope they've been good thoughts." he murmured absentmindedly.

_Not exactly _good _but they lead to good things. _I thought. It's strange that he's keeping the conversation away from my dream. Maybe he thinks I'm not ready to tell and doesn't want to pressure me. Aw, he's so sweet!

I giggled and then blushed after I realized I'd just giggled at my own thoughts- out loud.

He looked up at me, curiosity flaring in his beautiful green eyes. His smile grew, seeming to like my laugh.

I shook my head, still smiling, the blush fading. I grasped his hand in mine that he'd been playing with and brought it to my lips. I kissed his tough skin, it was kind of hairy but I loved his smell. It was unique and intoxicating- like a field of wild flowers and soap- maybe a little chocolate and the doughy smell of pancakes. I leaned closer to him, across the table, supporting myself on one elbow, still holding his hand.

"In my dream," I began. "I was in someplace dark... and someone was laughing a horribly wicked laugh." I shuddered as I remembered the sound- goosebumps rose on my arms. "It... it..." I couldn't bring myself to say it was he who had been laughing, or what he did.

He took my hand back in his and rubbed soothing circles with his thumb. "It's ok," he murmured gently. "You can tell me anything."

I knew that, that's not what I was scared off. "I'm... I'm scared you'll be angry." I admitted.

"I could never be angry at you, Bella," he promised, sincerity ringing out in every word.

I took a deep breath. Come on, I can do this. I stared intently down at our hands. "It was you." I finally got out. The words came out in a rush after that. "You weren't... _you_, exactly. But not the part of you I've seen, which I hardly doubt this horrible... evil Carlisle I saw in my dream could be a part of you. It isn't plausible... I think. But I'm not trying to say I think your bad- no, definitely not." I paused only to gasp for breath. "In my dream you called me an.. an ugly, broken whore or something like that- I can't really remember. And you hit me and whipped me and-and-and..." I felt like a blubbering fool, a wretched fool I tell you! I refused to meet his gaze, a nervousness churned deep in the pit of my stomach.

He released my hand and the stool squeaked on he floor. I watched his body move around the island till he stood in front of me. "Bella, please look at me. I'm not mad, I promise." he pleaded with me.

Reluctantly, my eyes traveled slowly up his body to his deliciously kissable lips, then his perfectly straight nose, then his sparkling, young, lively, green eyes. I waited for him to do something- anything.

He gently caressed my face, using his thumb to wipe away a tear I hadn't realized had fallen. His eyes only showed love and concern. One hand remained on my cheek, he brought the other to the small of my back and lightly pushed me closer to him. He pressed his lips to mine and I relaxed into his smooth, muscular body.

My lips moved along with his sweet kiss. I moved my hands to lock them around his neck. Electricity shot through my lips throughout my whole body, from head to toe. I needed this kiss more then I had consciously realized.

Having easy access, me sitting on the stool and him standing in front of me, I wrapped my legs around his waist. I heaved myself off the stool and he grasped my thighs to hold me in place.

I pulled back after a moment, my chest heaving to catch my breath. His lips didn't leave my skin. He trailed small kisses down my neck and back up again. I wove my fingers into his hair and forced his head back up to meet my lips.

He moaned before capturing my lips once again. His tongue gently caressed my bottom lip, sucking it into his mouth.

After a moment, he pulled back. That next words out of his mouth gave me the shock of a lifetime.

**(A.N.) Oooooh! Cliffhanger! Don't hate me, please! I don't need a mob of people showing up on my doorstep with pitchforks! LOL! Please review if you love me!**

**Love,**

**Ms. White Christmas**


	11. The Closet

**A.N. Thanks so much to all my wonderful reviewers!!!**

**If thy owns nothing, thou can't sue.**

_After a moment, he pulled back. That next words out of his mouth gave me the shock of a lifetime._

**BPOV**

"I love you, Bella," he murmured with so much love in his emerald gaze.

My mouth simply hung open like an idiot. My brain literally disconnected from my body and I couldn't think about anything. I could hardly process what he'd just said to me. "You... you w-what?" I spluttered out, still gaping.

He chuckled and gently kissed my mouth closed. "I love you with all my heart," he conceded with that breathtaking crooked grin.

I squealed- a side effect of too much time with Alice. "I love you, too!" I exclaimed, squeezing his neck in a hug and placing my head on his shoulder.

I was beyond exuberant to find out he loved me back.

He kept one hand under my thigh to hold me up and moved the other arm to hug my torso. His chuckle shook my whole body. "I'm so glad you do."

I scoffed and pulled back to look at him. "How could I not? Your sweet and funny and caring and... well, I could go on forever but I'm pretty sure I'm getting pretty heavy." I blushed furiously once I realized I was still straddling Carlisle's waist, sure that I was too much weight on him.

He frowned. "No, your not," he reassured me. "Your actually very light." He didn't seem to like that.

I rolled my eyes. "Sure, sure," I mumbled before unhooking my feet that were connected behind him.

He helped me back onto the ground, seemingly thoughtful. He was mechanical as he fixed a plate of pancakes.

I watched him, questioningly, as I sat at the island, once again. I was curious, but I left him to his thoughts as he had done for me.

He sat down a plate with three pancakes on it in front of me and took the same seat he had earlier. He gazed at me intently- calculating, almost.

I held his gaze, keeping my eyes away from the food before me. My stomach growled at the smell of food but I hardly felt hungry.

He motioned to it. "Eat," he said simply.

No, I've already eaten enough. "Not hungry."

He opened his mouth as soon as Alice burst into the house.

"Honey, I'm home!" she exclaimed, running at a human pace into the kitchen.

Thank god- saved by the energizer pixie. I turned to greet her but the horrified expression on her face made me pause.

"What is it?" I asked, surprised.

She pointed to me, her finger quivering slightly.

I looked down at myself, seeing nothing wrong with me. I was still in my sweat pants and oversized shirt I had borrowed from Carlisle, but I saw nothing else.

"What, Alice!" I exclaimed, getting slightly annoyed.

She snapped out of it and stomped right up to me. "Please, _please,_ tell me you are not planning on wearing that to school!" she exclaimed, tugging at the hem of my shirt.

Carlisle coughed to conceal his laughter.

I was horrified. Did she actually think I had that bad of taste in clothes? "Of course not!"

She sighed, completely relieved, but still looking skeptical. "Well, you better hurry up and change. We have about," She checked her watch. "twenty minutes to get to school."

I went into complete speed-up mode. "Shit," I muttered, taking off upstairs.

Alice tinkling laughed trailed after me, slower though, and Carlisle's laughing could be heard from the second floor landing. I scowled in his direction though he could not see me and took the next flight two at a time. Bad idea, Bells.

I slipped about halfway up the steps and began to fall backwards. A scream hardly left my lips before I fell into something rock hard and cold. Someone's masculine arms caught me under the armpits.

My whole body trembled and my hands clutched into fists. "Please let go," I whimpered, near tears, and the arms immediately released me.

"Hey, it's just-" I didn't hear the rest.

Blood pounded noisily in my ears as I ran carefully up the stairs and into my room. I shut the door to my room and locked myself in the closet before curling up in a ball and crying my eyes out. I felt like a child again.

_Flashback_

_My thirteenth birthday wasn't turning out to be much of a birthday at all._

_I woke up at around nine, I guess. I went downstairs to find the house empty. I worried a little bit if Daddy would get home safely- if he was out getting drunk._

_You'd think a thirteen-year-old girl's only worries would be boys, pimples, and middle school bullies. But nooo, I had to worry about my drunk of a father._

_So, my dad has basically been getting drunk every night since my mother left. I just wanted to scream at him- and occasionally I did- that I was having a hard time with this too. I wanted him here for me as I tried to be there for him. It wasn't all that easy to comfort him while he was drunk but I did my best and then took care of him when he was hungover._

_I stuck with a simple bowl of Lucky Charms- dry no milk, like I always have my cereal. I mean, milk's okay but I prefer it separate from other things unless it's cooked in- weird, right?_

_The phone rang as soon as I dropped my bowl into the sink full of water. "Hello?" I asked after picking up._

"_Happy birthday, Bella!" Jacob's rough, still childlike voice said into the phone._

_I smiled at the sound of my best friend's voice. Jacob and me have been as close as newlyweds(without all the yucky stuff) since the first time I had unknowingly happened across First Beach when I was nine. Who knew that one back rode in Phoenix, Arizona led to a beautiful and wonderful friendship?_

"_Thank you, Jake," I said, truly touched that he'd remembered my birthday._

"_You doing anything with Charlie today? If not, how's about you head up this a'way?" he asked, hope trickling in every word._

_I frowned at the mention of my dad, hurt filled me- and want. I shook it off. "Yea, I'll head up there soon," I promised._

_I could almost hear the smile that spread across his face. "Great!" he exclaimed and I heard him telling his father Billy Black that I was coming over. "See ya soon, Bells," he said and hung up._

"_Ya, see ya soon," I mumbled to the dial tone._

_I got dressed and spent the day at La Push with Jake, his dad, and his sisters Rachel and Rebecca. Rebecca, being the oldest, baked me a cake and I got a few presents after many protests of not needing anything._

_Billy brought me home at around five and Charlie was home. Thank god._

"_I would come in and see Charlie but I really need to get back. Happy birthday again, Bella," Billy said sadly._

"_That's fine," I assured him, pushing open the door. I sure as hell didn't want Billy seeing Charlie either a) drunk or b) hungover._

_I slowly opened the front door, turning to wave goodbye to Billy's retreating truck, then cautiously peered inside. It was dark, hauntingly dark and quiet. It gave me the chills and it wasn't even cold- far from it._

"_Dad," I called out, stepping precariously further into the house, shutting the door behind me._

_He appeared before me and roughly grabbed the shoulders of my shirt. I stared at the outline of his face in shock._

"_Shut up," he hissed right in my face- spitting a bit._

_My mouth opened slightly before words came out. "I'm... I'm sorry, Daddy." I whispered apologetically._

_And then, he slapped me- hard, right across the face._

_I was shocked for a moment, but then the sting caught up to me. Tears exploded from my eyes and I pushed past Charlie who seemed to be in a state of shock. He stumbled back and I took the stairs two at a time, being extra careful. I slammed open the door to my room and locked myself in the closet. I simply curled into a ball and sobbed._

_I didn't come out for a day. Charlie even came up and begged for me to come out one time. Then, he off and got drunk again._

_End of Flashback_

No... no... no! I shook my head sharply back and forth, tears streaming down my cheeks. I do _not_ want to relive that part of my life.

Someone quickly tapped on the door causing me to start. "Bella? Bella, sweetheart? Please come out, sweetie." I recognized Carlisle's voice.

I would do that willingly enough. This closet was bringing back too many memories and it was seriously giving me the creeps. I stood and pushed open the door, running right into Carlisle's surprised arms.

He stumbled back a bit but encased me in his strong, loving embrace. He rubbed my hair flat against my head and I pressed my face into his chest. I inhaled his beautiful smell that no cologne could ever amount to.

"Sh, baby girl, sh," he murmured soothingly, almost carrying me as he backed up and sat down on the bed.

I climbed into his lap, kissing his shoulders and his chest, wiping my eyes to rid myself of tears. "I'm-sorry," I mumbled brokenly. "I-I'm so sorry."

"It's ok, you didn't do anything." he murmured gently, holding the hair at the nape of my neck.

How wrong he was. "No, I have... I've messed up your life by bringing my fucked up self into it." I tried to maneuver out of his arms.

He tightened his grip. "You are not fucked up, you've just had a hard life," he reassured me, kissing the top of my head.

I took in a deep, shaky breath. "That doesn't give me any excuse to ruin yours."

"No, Bella... sweetie... you aren't ruining my life. You've made it so much better... you've given me something to live _for_." He paused for a moment, I was frozen- shocked. "You are my life now, Bella."

"I want to believe you, Carlisle... I've just... had so many people hurt me in my life," I admitted shamefully.

He nodded, understanding. "I know... and it's ok not to believe me just yet," he assured me. "All you have to know is that I will never hurt you... and I'll always be here." He kissed my nose.

What little facial hair he had tickled my nose, I giggled despite myself and the situation.

He chuckled and glanced over my head. "Well, I think we're already too late for school... I'm sure they won't miss us one more day."

**(A.N.) So... I'm not sure if this was my best chapter, but, I tried. Tell me what you think.**

**Love,**

**Ms. White Christmas**


	12. The Worst Memory

**IMPORTANT!!! Did any of you noticed that I accidentally put that Carlisle was having to work a late shift at the hospital? Well, I was mortified because he is Bella's teacher in this story and doctor in my other Carlisle/Bella. Please forgive me because I feel absolutely horrible about this. So, I think I'm going to take a small break from my other story In It For Life and I'm going to post that.**

**A.N. Hey everyone! Thank you for everyone that is still with my story and reviewing! It makes me so happy and makes me want to write!**

**Also! Sorry this took so long to get out, I began it one way but I was then stuck on it for a long time and was ready to give up when this idea came into my head. A part of it I got from another book called _Identical _so I admit it helped with the flashback a lot.**

**If thy doesn't own'th, thou can't sue'th.**

_He chuckled and glanced over my head. "Well, I think we're already too late for school... I'm sure they won't miss us one more day."_

**BPOV**

The next day, Carlisle and I went back to school. Everything went by smooth as a baby's bottom, no one suspected a thing as far as we knew. Carlisle and I were doing quite a good job at seeming to only have a regular student/teacher relationship. Well, at least Carlisle seemed to be doing a good job- either that or he is the greatest actor since Johnny Depp. Me on the other hand- not so much. I was about to kill someone- that someone being a certain Lauren Mallory- for majorly flirting it up with my Carlisle. She hardly wore a single scrape of clothing and all but threw herself on him.

Edward wasn't in school when I came back and he still wasn't one week later. Not that I minded, but it was kind of strange. I still hated his guts for getting me pregnant and giving me AIDS and being such a sick bastard.

At home, it was a completely different story. I was stressing over the thought of having a baby, hoping that my medicine that kept me alive wouldn't hurt the baby, and this evil Carlisle and Charlie still haunted my dreams. Carlisle still loved me, no matter how I felt about him for about five minutes after I woke some nights. I was always afraid of him and yet wanted him to stay, so he'd just sit at the edge of my bed, waiting for me to come to him like I needed him to do.

Mostly, though, I dreamed about the closet at my old house. It seemed to be so important for some odd reason. It was like something had happened there that I really didn't want to remember. I felt terribly frightened of that closet. I remember all the times I had escaped to the closet in my room to get away from Charlie and life and anything else fucked up that was going on.

It was Friday night, I was in bed and Carlisle was at the school having to get caught up on some things. Rosalie was out with someone she met- I seem to remember his name to be Emmett... and every other insignificant fact about him. Rosalie seriously could not stop going on and on and on about this guy. Alice and Jasper were out as well- double date. I thought it was extremely weird for a vampire couple to be going out with a human couple but, as long as they were careful, I have no say in what goes on in their personal life.

I had just begun to nod off, hoping I would actually get a good night's rest, when a horrid, forgotten memory decided to make itself known.

_Seeking refuge from my horrible day at school, I ran into my room and threw open the closet door. I situated myself onto my pile of dirty clothes which was rather comfortable and a few tears fell. Tired of the suffocating quiet, I pulled out my MP3 and set it to play all the songs on shuffle. I nodded my head to the beat, mouthing the words. My eyes slid closed but I didn't realize I'd fallen asleep till I was rudely awakened my a bright light._

_The closet door was opened, Charlie standing in its opening, and I mentally cursed myself for not locking it. It's not that I was trying to avoid him when I locked myself in this closet out of fright, at least, not at this point in my life. I still loved him and he didn't hurt me all that much. I thought it was normal, actually._

_I took the earphones out of my ears and was about to get up when he stooped down beside me. He gently caressed my small thirteen-and-a-half-year-old body and picked me up. Cradling me to his chest, he sat me in his lap and we sat in the darkness of my closet with only a bit of light coming from the cracked door. His touch, loving for once, I relished in it._

_He moved the hair from my face, gazing at me lovingly, and smoothing it behind my head. "I'm sorry, my sweet flower. I have not told you in so long how much I love you," he murmured apologetically and kissed my forehead._

_I smiled, looking up at him, loving this side of him. "It's ok, Daddy. I know you still love me, it's just been hard lately," I murmured knowingly._

_He continued to kiss around my face- my cheeks, my chin, my nose, my forehead. "Kiss me, my sweet Bella."  
_

_Slight confused but willing, I kissed his cheek.  
_

"_Daddy needs something from my girl, my sweet rose. Will you give it to me?"_

"_What?" I asked curiously._

"_I want you to see something, something that proves how much I love you. This is only for you, Bella girl."_

_Gently, he sat me back down onto the pile of clothes. He stood and I nearly panicked, afraid he would leave me and go back to his booze. He didn't. He shimmied out of his cop pants, his gun belt already off, and his underwear. His thing, that I had no name for at the time, came out, stiff as stalagmite. He got onto his knees beside me._

"_See how much Daddy loves you? Show me you love me, too, like Momma did. Touch it." He closed my hands around it. He moved my hand up and down, showing me how._

"_That's right. That's right." His voice rocked in rhythm with his body._

_He seemed to like it and, if this was how I could show him my love, I would do it. I would do it because I do love him and I want to love him like Momma did so that he would love me back._

"_Oh yes, my Bella loves me. My little flower..."_

_I stared at the white cream that now covered me and my hand, wondering why my dad was now sobbing into my hair._

"_Don't cry, Daddy. What's the matter? Did I not love you good enough?" I asked, confused._

_He sucked in the tears and took his face out of my hair, smiled, and kissed my lips with so much tangible love. "Yes, you loved me good enough. So very good! But it's our secret, okay?" He scrambled for cover. "Because if anyone knew how much you love me, they'd be jealous."_

_I nodded. "Okay, Daddy."_

_He looked at me seriously. "Don't tell anyone, because no one likes a tattletale. Especially Daddy."_

I felt like I had relived it all over again- that horrible day. My trembling body hurt from the force of the sobs that raked my body. Now I finally remembered why I had nightmares of being in a closet and having to do with a closet- and I really wished I hadn't. I would have much rather it remained a secret.

I can't believe I actually thought that was a way to show _my Dad _that I loved him. The thought repulsed me now and truly freaked me out. What other things had Charlie done to me that I couldn't remember now? Could this possibly be his baby and not Edward's? Could I have possibly lied to Carlisle when I said that Charlie had not touched me that way until that one night? Why couldn't I remember this up until now?

I then did the best thing I could think of- I screamed. My scream only intensified as my door swung open and Charlie appeared before me.

"_I want you to see something, something that proves how much I love you. This is only for you, Bella girl."_

No, no! I don't want to see it.

"_See how much Daddy loves you? Show me you love me, too, like Momma did. Touch it."_

No, please don't make me! I'm not Momma!

"_That's right. That's right."_

No, it's not right, Daddy. It's not right to make your daughter touch you this way.

"_Oh yes, my Bella loves me. My little flower..."_

No, I _used _to love you.

"_Yes, you loved me good enough. So very good! But it's our secret, okay?"_

Your afraid of getting caught. Your only a coward.

"_Because if anyone knew how much you love me, they'd be jealous."_

No, your just a terrified, horrid psycho. Your afraid of what people would do if they found out.

"Bella, sweet Bella, it was only a dream. I'm here now, it's ok, it was only a dream." The flashback continued but it had altered.

Carlisle. It was Carlisle that stood before me, not Charlie. Relief and dread washed over me. I couldn't quell the sobs so I spoke through them.

I sat up and Carlisle stood before me, worry written all over his face. "Ch-Ch-Charlie made me t-t-touch him. He-he told me to-to love him like m-my mom did."

I cried even harder as I realized that Carlisle would surely leave me now.

**(A.N.) So... how was it? Got pretty angsty up there... in that flashback. I got some of that from the book _Identical._ You should really check it out! It is a great book but it does have a warning for like no people under sixteen or something like that... but I didn't care! Ha ha, thanks for reading and please review!**

**Love,**

**Ms. White Christmas**


	13. Talking It Out

**A.N. Every one of y'all are so damn amazing! I love you so much its sickening! No sarcasm.**

**If thy doesn't own'th, thou can't sue'th.**

_I cried even harder as I realized that Carlisle would surely leave me now._

**CPOV**

It was really way too late for me to be in this almost-deserted school. The principal was still here for reasons unknown to me, and I was worried sick over leaving Bella alone. Everyone else had gone out, given its Friday, and Bella was in that huge house- all alone. Who knows what could show up or what flashback she'll have and I won't be there to protect or comfort her- whichever is required.

The thought drove me overboard. I shoved the ungraded papers from my desk, knocking over several other things in the process- everything landing with a loud clattering on the linoleum floor. I was behaving rather childishly I might add, but I could have cared less at that moment.

I pushed myself away from my desk and stood, livid with anger at myself for leaving Bella alone in one of her most vulnerable states. She's been having the most god awful nightmares lately and I hated that I was the bad guy in most of them. I hated that I could do nothing about them except just being there, whenever she wasn't scared of me, to console her.

I walked past the principal's office and froze. There was a lot of loud grunting and gasping and moaning going on inside there.

I threw up just a bit in my mouth.

Principal Kundum wasn't that attractive of a man(not that I fancy men). He had a rather large gut, a very pudgy face, and feet big enough to be mistaken for Big Foot's. Bella told me he gave her "the willies".

And just the image of him doing whatever he was doing- I couldn't exactly bring myself to think the name of what I knew he was doing- made me want to barf. I was going to be permanently scarred and could never look at that man the same way again.

I shook off my own case of the willies and strode faster than before. I just wanted to get out of this school and to my love. This place felt very much like an insane asylum at this very moment- now more than ever. It was so dark, with only the occasional flickering light which only added to the gloom, and very quiet, minus Mr. Kundum's _activities_. I felt like some nutcase was going to pop out of one of these quickly passing doors, like they do in those science fiction movies, and scare me shit-less.

Or maybe I was just paranoid over what could be happening to Bella.

I made it back to my house in record time due to my awesome knowledge of back roads so I could easily avoid the "City of Lights" night traffic. You don't know what crowded is till you've been to New York.

I ran up the steps, onto my porch that wrapped completely around the big, white house, and swiftly unlocked the door. I looked about, everything was silent, creepily silent. It was quiet like the calm before the storm. I ran up the winding stairs, taking them two at a time.

My foot hit the third floor landing and a scream pierced the air like a knife slicing through room-temperature butter. I flinched at the horrid sound and forced my legs faster. The scream only intensified in pitch as I pushed open Bella's bedroom door.

She lay beneath the covers of her bed but they were all messed up like she'd been having a pillow fight. Her luscious, brown eyes locked on me, unseeing. They followed my every move, not really seeing me, as I hurriedly crossed the room and knelt before her.

"Bella, it's alright," I tried to speak soothingly and not show her how freaked out I was- if she could even see me.

"No, no! I don't want to see it," she mumbled in panic.

I was confused to the extreme. "Bella, honey, its just a dream, come back to me," I murmured consolingly.

"No, please don't make me," she pleaded. "I'm not Momma!" she shouted in outrage but it sounded a bit strangled.

My god, what was going on? "Love, what's happening? Can't you see me?" I asked frantically, my facade very nearly broken down.

"No, it's not right, Daddy. It's not right to make your daughter touch you this way," she whispered in this deadly, deeply saddened monotone that made my heart drop like a rock.

I waited to see if she'd say anything else, truly unable to form words. It felt like I was choking on a rubber ball I'd stupidly swallowed.

"No, I _used _to love you." She continued with that same monotone that made my heart twist tight. "Your afraid of getting caught. Your only a coward."

I felt my eyes wet with frustrated tears. "My love, please come back to me," I choked out, still sounding like someone had a tight grip on my throat, keeping the tears at bay.

"No, your just a terrified, horrid psycho. Your afraid of what people would do if they found out," she said with a bit more life and I saw some emotion filter her eyes. It was nothing like what I wanted to see though. She looked to be in so much pain and sobs began racking her body.

"Bella, sweet Bella, it was only a dream. I'm here now, it's ok, it was only a dream," I pleaded, my heart twisted, coiled to spring, with worry.

Her eyes finally focused on me. She stared up at me, looking so helpless, and tried to speak through the body wrenching sobs. "Ch-Ch-Charlie made me t-t-touch him. He-he told me to-to love him like m-my mom did." She began to cry even harder.

Her words flew through one ear and right out the other. They hovered in the air before snapping back to my brain like an overstretched rubber band- stinging like one, too.

Hesitantly, I took her into my arms, sort of dragging her from where she lay beneath the covers and slinging her gently into my lap like a small child, pulling myself up onto the bed so she could lay comfortably in my lap. Soothingly, I rubbed her back as she continued to weep into my chest. I rocked her body back and forth, whispering a small "Sh," or "Your ok," or "He's not going to hurt you anymore," into her ear every now and then.

It might have been hours, I didn't really care, before Bella's sobs turned into small sniffles and hiccups. She lazily rolled her head over so she could look up at me with those saddened eyes of hers- it nearly broke my heart.

"Why does all this shit happen to me?" she asked no one in particular. "Why did God put me through all this crap?"

I thought for a moment, holding her eyes with mine. "People say that God doesn't give a person more than that person can handle," I said slowly, carefully, precisely.

She gazed at me desperately. "But I _can't _handle this- I'm not _handling _this!" she shouted, agitated, her voice gaining pitch.

I looked at her steadily. "You are handling this. You've lived with this nearly your whole life and now your getting help- that is handling things, if you ask me."

She suddenly looked like an innocent little girl again- afraid and scared- looking up at me with sorrowful, chocolate orbs. "I don't know what to do." I could tell she resented herself for being so weak. I could tell she thought all of this was her fault. I could tell that she thought she had put all of this stuff on herself, thinking she could do it, then hating herself for not being able to.

I thought a moment. "You could try seeing someone," I offered hesitantly, unsure of her reaction.

She looked mortified. "Like a... like a _therapist_?" she asked in astonishment.

I shrugged. "Counseling psychologist, therapist- whatever you wish to call it."

She rolled her eyes. "A shrink is a shrink," she muttered.

"It's someone to talk to." I looked at her seriously. "But I'm not forcing you to do anything you don't want to do."

Her hand suddenly fluttered to her stomach and I glanced down, almost expecting to see it fully extended. When, in reality, it wasn't even a noticeable bump yet. "I need to do what's right for the baby," she murmured- almost cooed.

I hooked my finger under her chin and pulled her face up to look at me. "But is it what's right for you?"

She looked uncertain a moment, thinking it over. "Yes, I believe it is," she finally concluded with a small, slow nod.

I grinned widely at her. "Great," I murmured, loving those small five words.

She looked around the room, looking to be analyzing the place pretty closely, before turning to look uncertainly at me. She opened her mouth before thinking better and closing it.

I raised an eyebrow at her. "What is it, princess?" I asked, using the perfect nickname to go with herself.

I had expected her to roll her eyes and say something disagreeing with my choose of nickname, but she surprised me- doing what I didn't expect her to do, as per usual.

"Why'd you call me that?" she asked, purely curious, and looking like my answer depended on something going on inside her head.

I thought my reply through, making sure I worded it correctly to fully explain my intentions. "I called you princess because... that's what you are. You're beautiful and elegant." She raised her eyebrows at that. "You know how to light up the room when you smile." She gave me a small grin and I pretended to shield my eyes. She giggled and I smiled at the sound of it. "Your laugh is like a million sleigh bells ringing."

"And your my knight in shining armor," she concluded with the biggest, ear-to-ear smile I have ever seen.

I relished in the thought of being her savior. "I love you," I murmured as I kissed her forehead gently.

She looked at me, innocently confused. "How can you still say that?" She pulled herself into a sitting position, out of my lap, Indian style, and gazed at me pointedly. She stuff her hands nervously into her lap, deep between her crossed legs.

I was shocked. "Because... because I do love you?" My statement came out more like a question for I was pretty confused.

She shook her head, looking just a bit exasperated. "But... but I lied to you. I told you... _Charlie_ hadn't touched me sexually except for the one time." She stuttered unwillingly through her explanation, just barely forcing out her _father's _name through her lips.

I shook my head, appalled that she would think that way. "You never lied to me, your mind just blocked out the painful things until you could handle remembering."

She thought about that before sighing. "Maybe."

We were silent for a moment. "Do you want to talk about it?" I asked hesitantly.

She looked away from me, finding the blank wall very interesting. "I'm afraid you'll get angry," she confided quietly, hesitantly.

I took one of her hands from her lap and held them tightly between both of mine. "I might get mad at that bastard but I'll never be mad at you."

Hesitantly, she met my eyes. "Do you promise?"

I smiled at her. "I promise, my Bella."

**(A.N.) And it was... good? Bad? Terrible? Fantastic? Do tell!**

**Love,**

**Ms. White Christmas**


	14. I Wanna Be Superman, Too

**A.N. I'm sooo sorry it has taken me so long to get this up! Finals have been going on and I've been cramming and its been chaos at home and I just haven't felt like writing. I really have to be in the mood to give some presentable work to you guys and I just haven't been in the mood lately nor have I had the time. Also, I've been working on my actual book that I plan on trying to get published someday so just bear with me. Schools nearly out and I'll have more time write because I'm just that socially awkward. ;)**

**I really hope this chapter doesn't disappoint you guys too bad!**

**If thy doesn't own'th, thou can't sue'th.**

_Hesitantly, she met my eyes. "Do you promise?"_

_I smiled at her. "I promise, my Bella."_

**BPOV**

Exhausted, I fell back onto my butt from where I'd been leaning over the toilet, barfing my guts out. I wiped my mouth and looked up at Carlisle, completely confused.

"I know your not a doctor or anything- but why in the hell did I just do that?" I asked, near panicked. I had felt fine until I had gotten out of bed this morning.

He thought a moment, releasing me so I could rinse my mouth. "I think its morning sickness." He stood up from his place on the linoleum floor, his back against the wall.

I groaned but placed a hand reassuringly on my slightly extended stomach. "Don't worry, I'm not mad at you. I promise you- your not a mistake," I cooed quietly.

Cautiously, I peeked up at Carlisle. "Do I sound like an idiot talking to my stomach?" I inquired nervously, cocking an eyebrow.

He walked over to me with a reassuring smile on his face. He set his hands on the counter behind me, trapping me between his arms, and softly pressed his lips to mine, bending down so I didn't have to reach up on my tiptoes.

I smiled internally and tilted my head upwards so I could kiss him deeper. My hands, on their own accord, wound into the golden masterpiece atop his head. I marveled in the softness of his blonde hair that always looked a bit gelled but never felt like it. He just kept it looking nice and neat and professional.

It wasn't going to look very neat after I get down with it.

I tugged gently at it, making him moan. I pulled his body closer to me, and he willingly allowed me to do so. I just couldn't get him close enough.

His hands moved to my hips as we broke off for air. Even then, his lips didn't leave my skin. He trailed soft, featherlight kisses down my neck and back up to my chin.

His gaze locked with mine, so much love and passion in his eyes.

I thought I surely could not recuperate that much love. It saddened me that I could not fully give back everything he was giving to me. I had thought for so long that I'd never find someone that would love me for me that I'd given up ever finding anything to love. It was hard to remember even how to love.

I looked earnestly back at Carlisle. I moved my hands slowly from his hair, down to behind his neck where I interlocked my fingers. "I don't know how to love you, Carlisle," I murmured truthfully, hoping he wouldn't take it the wrong way.

He moved his hands to gently put them on my back, holding me against him. "Just feel. Let yourself feel my love for you. Feel my heart," He place my hand against his chest, over his slightly frantic heart. "beating for you and only you." He paused for a second before capturing my lips in a soft, chaste kiss. "Feel that my kisses aren't a lie, that every caress I take you in is not one meant for pain, that my heart yearns to be by your side through everything you go through."

His every word touched me with a small shock of electricity- much like what his touch did. His every kiss or caress lightly burned whatever place he touched. But it didn't hurt. It just felt like I was burned but had yet to feel the pain.

I was still so unsure about all this. Electricity nor soft words of reassurance could bring my mind to peace. I felt so overbearing about all this.

"What if you go through hell just to be by my side?" I asked quietly, searching his soft gaze.

He mused about my question for a moment. "I'll know that, if I'm going through hell, standing beside you, then what you're going through is ten times worse," he told me softly, caressing my cheek.

I smiled up at him, a sense of relief from his words flowing through me. I softly brought my lips upon his, kissing him gently but hesitantly. My hands, locked behind his neck, gently pulled him closer to me.

He gladly complied, deepening the kiss, moving his lips in sync with mine. He placed his hands gently on my hips, pushing me against the counter I stood in front of.

Carefully, his hand ventured up my shirt to be placed on top of my slightly swollen stomach. He rubbed small circles as we pulled apart for air. He looked down at my stomach thoughtfully.

"You must be hungry, lets go downstairs and I'll fix you up something," he said suddenly, picking me up bridal style.

I giggled, clinging harder to his neck. "Starved, actually," I admitted sheepishly as we walked from the bathroom.

We went downstairs and I sat at the island as Carlisle rummaged through his fridge. "What would you like?" he asked, turning to me, the fridge still open.

I thought a moment. "An omelet?" I offered, feeling like I'd eat just about anything right now- the plate, fork, and all.

He nodded, already getting out the ingredients. "Sounds good to me." He looked over his shoulder to smile brilliantly at me.

I watched him curiously. He always seemed so sure of himself in the kitchen and I had always wondered about that. He loved to cook and I hardly remembered a previous meal that wasn't home cooked. Plus his food was amazing!

As I stuck a fork into my omelet, I wondered if he'd ever thought about being a chef. I stuck the bite into my mouth and moaned at how good it was.

"This is amazing, Carlisle!" I raved, taking a few more ravenous bites.

He chortled, taking a bite of his own at a leisurely pace, unlike me. "Thank you."

I blushed as another small moan escaped my lips. "Have you ever thought about being a chef?" I asked right out of the blue, mumbling around my mouthful.

He looked taken aback. "Well, I did when I was younger... but teaching seemed more practical as I grew older." He shrugged, looking intently down at his food.

My mouth fell open, which, with food in it, wasn't very attractive, so it was quickly shut. "Don't give me that shit," I chastised gently. "There's more to it, I can tell." I placed my hand over the one he had laid limply on the table.

He glanced up at me before looking back down at his food and poking it with his fork. "There's nothing more," he mumbled but I could tell he was lying.

I stroked his hand softly. "You can tell me anything, Carlisle," I murmured soothingly. It felt good to be doing the soothing instead of being the soothed.

He flipped his hand so he could grasp mine tightly but not uncomfortable. "My dad wasn't very supportive of my chef dream," he explained in a monotone that told me he was trying not to let his emotions show.

I stood, releasing his hand, and walked around to sit in the seat beside him. I wrapped my arms around his waist and he looked up at me, tears in his eyes. I was shocked to see them, not able to remember the last time I'd seen Carlisle crying.

I quickly wiped them away and pulled him into me. "I'm sorry to hear that, Carlisle... is there anything else?" I asked tentatively, feeling like there was something more to it.

A small sob broke through his chest and I felt like crying myself, seeing Carlisle in such a vulnerable state. "Can I... tell you something, Bella?" he asked, his voice breaking.

I rubbed his back, patting gently. "You can always tell me anything, Hun," I whispered gently, into his ear. "I want you to confide in me and feel like you can trust me like I trust you." I ran my fingers lightly through his hair.

"I do trust you, Bella." He drew in a deep, shaky breath. "My mom was in jail most of my life... and my dad was never around- he worked as a surgeon 24/7."

I began to feel his tears seeping through my shirt but I really didn't care. I hated hearing that he didn't have his parents around and I felt his sadness as if it were my own.

"I was either taken care of by a babysitter or my older sister Esme," he continued. "My father thought I was gay for wanting to cook and was still disappointed in my career choice when I chose teaching. I guess he wanted me to be a surgeon like himself."

Ok, that was where I drew the line. "Carlisle, that's horrible and wrong of them. I'm so sorry..." I couldn't even think of the right words to say.

He straightened up suddenly, not meeting my eyes, hiccuping silently, trying to stop crying. "Its fine, I shouldn't have let myself remember," he murmured quietly, standing and walking over to the counter by the stove. He firmly grasped the edge, leaning onto it for support.

I quickly stood and walked over to him, not liking that he'd pulled away from me. I wanted to console him and show him that he can confide in me like he'd let me do. In a sense, I wanted to be superman as well.

I grasped his shoulders and turned him around to face me. I cupped his cheeks, forcing him to meet my eyes. "Don't shut me out, Carlisle," I said sternly. "You've helped me so much... let me return the favor, let me help you back," I all but pleaded with him.

Anger entered his eyes and I began to see a bit of my "dream Carlisle" in him. I forced myself not to flinch and cower away like my reflexes told me to.

"I don't need help," he fumed lightly, trying to control his anger.

I moved my hands from his face to rub his arms up and down. "You may not need help but it always feels good to talk about it and get it out of your system," I whispered, trying to soothe his anger.

He squeezed his eyes shut and began to shake his head. "No, no, no, I'm not angry Bella," he muttered quickly and I released his arms as he moved to rub his face in frustration. He sounded near tears again and extremely frustrated with himself.

My mind wandered back to when I first remembered how Charlie had touched me in ways no father should to their daughter and to the conversation I'd had with Carlisle. I thought once again about seeing a therapist and thought that maybe, just maybe, it would be a good experience for the both of us.

I forced myself to remain unafraid of a sudden rage as I ventured upon the subject. "Perhaps we should both talk this out... with a therapist," I offered quietly, hoping he wouldn't get angry.

He breathed in deeply, still rubbing his face. "Give me a moment?" he requested, his voice strained.

"Of course," I quickly agreed and he walked into the living room. He plopped onto the couch, looking like he'd be there for a while.

I didn't mind, I'd give him all the time he needed. Right now, I really wanted to talk to Alice. I craved some normalcy and some girl-on-girl time might do me some good.

I walked back upstairs, quietly passing Carlisle, and into my room. I grabbed my phone from my bedside table and was about to dial Alice's number when she appeared right in front of me.

I gasped, shocked to see her appear so suddenly, and took a backwards step. She ignored my shock and quickly pulled me into a hug. After I got over my initial shock, I quickly wrapped my arms around her and started to cry silently.

"Sh, its alright, Bells," she murmured gently in her soft, musical voice. She sat us down, keeping her arms securely wrapped around me.

"Tell me what happened," she demanded in a soft voice once my crying had subsided.

"Overemotional... just overemotional moment," I grumbled. "Morning sickness and I then learn something horrible about Carlisle's past... his mother was in jail most of his life and his father was too busy at work to even pay him any mind!" I spat in disgust.

"That's horrible!" Alice exclaimed in shock, tightening her grip on me, a small, dry sob coming from her tiny, pixie body.

I nodded my head in agreement. "And even when he did give him his attention, it was only to criticize his dreams," I confided further, almost shaking in my tiny fit of anger.

I felt a light hand on my shoulder and turned to see Jasper standing beside the bed. He looked at me cautiously, probably remembering the last time we'd seen each other. After that, I'd been so embarrassed that I avoided him at all cost.

I smiled sheepishly up at him, apologizing with my eyes.

He nodded, seeming to understand and accept my apology. "I remember Esme, my adopted mother, telling Rose and I about that," he said quietly, looking like he'd cry if he could. He wrapped his arms soothingly around Alice.

Alice placed a hand on Jasper's bicep and smiled before a blank look came over her face. A few seconds passed with Jasper and me patiently awaiting Alice's return to reality.

"Carlisle's coming," she muttered so fast I almost didn't catch it and, faster than her words had come out, she and Jasper were gone.

It all happened so quickly my head was spinning disconcertingly. A few seconds later, I reassessed my bearings and a soft knock came from the other side of my door.

"Come in," I called softly, knowing it was Carlisle- thanks to Alice.

He quickly came in and shut the door behind him. He walked over to my bed and sat down next to me, looking sorrowfully into my eyes.

"I'm sorry about my actions earlier," he apologized sincerely, though I have no idea why he was even doing so. He had nothing to be sorry for.

I cocked an eyebrow at him. "Why are you apologizing?" I asked, honestly confused.

His eyes widened just a bit. "Because I lost my temper," he stated sadly, dropping his head down into his hands. "My actions were completely unnecessary and I'm sorry if I scared you."

I took his hands away from his face, holding each one tightly in mine so he had to lift his head and look at me. "Thank you for apologizing, Carlisle, but there's really no need," I reassured then paused for a moment. "Have you decided about... you know..." I asked cautiously, referring to going to therapy together.

He nodded slowly. "Yea, I was thinking about that... and I think it would really help the both of us," he agreed a bit hesitantly but I could tell he was being truthful.

I smiled at him and quickly kissed his soft lips, lightly moist and a bit saltwater-tasting with past-shed tears. "Were gonna help each other through his," I reassured him quietly.

He wrapped his hand behind my neck and chuckled lightly. "Look at you, being little Wonder Women," he teased lightly and a blush colored my cheeks rosy red.

**(A.N.) Please don't be too harsh on me... got a lot going on right now. I still wanna hear your thoughts though.**

**Love,**

**Ms. White Christmas**


End file.
